A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.

When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: There are no fish in there.

So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.

So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.

How do you know there are no fish there? asks the blonde.

So the man cooly says Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, youre going to have to pay for those holes.

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A distraught young blonde woman suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her. In a fit of anger she drives to a local pawn shop and buys a gun.

She shows up at his apartment unexpectedly, slams opens the door, and sure enough hes naked in the arms of a beautiful redhead.

This angers her, she is furious and can no longer control her emotions. The blonde opens her purse and pulls out the .38 handgun she bought earlier. As she takes aim, grief overcomes here and she points the gun at her own head.

No, honey, dont do it! yells the boyfriend.

Shut up, she says. Youre next.

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Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. It was an interesting conversation.

* The first surgeon said, I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered.
* The second replied, I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded.
* The third added, I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. you open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order.
* The fourth one boasted, I like to operate on lawyers. Theyre heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their butts are interchangeable.
* Fifth surgeon said, I like Engineers. . . they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end….

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A sexually active woman told her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept asecret, and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery, she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she calls in the doctor. I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality, and that the first rose was from him. I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself. The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago.

And what about the third rose? she asked. Thats from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears.

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