A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to see a gynecologist. The doctor takes one good look at this woman and his professionalism is a thing of the past. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does he says to the woman, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she says, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.” “Correct,” says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts. “Do you know what I’m doing now”, he says. “Yes,” says the woman, “you’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer.” “That’s right,” replies the doctor. He then gradually proceeds to having sexual intercourse with her. “Do you know,” he pants “what I’m doing now?” “Yes,” she says. “You’re getting herpes.”
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An Irishman staggers into a library, approaches the librarian and shouts, “FISH AND CHIPS, PLEASE!” The librarian puts her finger up to her lip and says, “This is a Library”. Irish guy says in a whispering voice, ” fish and chips, please.”

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a bunch of shots. The bartender says “You celebrating something?” The guy says “My first blowjob.” The bartender replied “Good for you!” When the man was done, the bartender says “That must have been some blow job. You need anything else?” The guy said “No if 12 shots of whiskey doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will.”
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Top Ten Reasons Why Trick or Treating is Better Than Sex:

10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9) If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8) The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7) You don’t have to compliment the person who gives you some.
6) It’s O.K. when the person you’re with fantasizes you’re someone else, because you are.
5) Forty years from now you’ll still enjoy candy.
4) If you don’t like what you get, you can always go next door.
3) It doesn’t matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2) Less guilt the morning after.
1) YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD.

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