A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, Ill give you 800 dollars to drop that towel that you have on. After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower Who was that? It was Bob the next door neighbor, she replies. Great, the husband says, did he say anything about the 800 dollars he owes me?

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk in advance with your stakeholders, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

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There was a bus full of 30 ugly people, and it crashed and the all died instantly. They all went to heaven where God felt sorry for them because they were so ugly, so he decided to grant them one wish each. So they got in a line for their wish. They first person in line wished to be the most gorgeous person ever, and the person behind her wished to be gorgeous too, and so it went on and on.

When they got about half way down the line the person in the back of the line started chuckling, then there were only a few people left and he started laughing hysterically! Then he was the next person and he was laughing so hard he was on the floor and didnt think he had any more tears to shed for ANY reason! Then when it came his turn it took him 10 minutes to stop laughing, every time he would almost stop, he would start again. Well, he finally stopped laughing and was able to get his wish in. He told God Make them all ugly again!

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A nurse walks into a bank, preparing to endorse a check. She reaches in her pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer and tries to write with it.

She looks up at the teller, pauses for a moment, then realizing her mistake, and says, Well thats great. Some assholes got my pen.

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New Disease Alert from The Centers for Disease Control

The Centers for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues, or anyone else via any means whatsoever – DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Optional: Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase antidote – Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately tell five friends about this medical alert. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

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