A priest in a small rural town was very fond of the ten chickens and
one handsome cock rooster he kept in a hen house behind the rectory.

One Saturday night, the priest discovered that the cock rooster was
missing. At the same time the priest heard rumors of cockfights that
were being held in town. Shocked and dismayed, he decided to say
something during the Sunday Mass.

During Mass he asked the congregation, “Who among you will confess
to sporting a handsome cock?”

All the men stood up.

“No, no,” he said. “That’s not what I mean. Who among you will confess
to having seen a handsome cock?” All the women stood up.

“Oh, no,” he said. That’s not what I mean, either! Who among you will
confess to having seen a cock that doesn’t belong to you?”

Half the women stood up.

“Oh Lord,” he said. “Perhaps I should rephrase the question: “Has anybody
here seen my cock?” All the choirboys stood up.

……………..

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uck walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he has some bread? bar tender says no he asks again do you have some bread? bar tender says no he asks again do you have some bread? bar tender says no, and if you dont shut up i will nail your fucken beak to the bar, duck says do you have some nails bar tender says no duck says GOT SOME BREAD!

One morning, a representative for a condom company was on her way to an international condom convention. While hastily rushing through the airport, the saleswoman dropped her briefcase carrying her samples, scattering condoms across the floor.

She noticed passers by looking at her as she tried to get the condoms back into her briefcase. “It’s okay,” she said. “I’m going to a convention.”

……………..

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telephoned a household, and a four-year-old boy answered. The conversation went thus:
Salesman: May I speak to your mother?
Boy: She’s not here.
Salesman: Well, is anyone else there?
Boy: My sister.
Salesman: O.K., fine. May I speak to her?
Boy: I guess so.
At this point there was a very long silence on the phone. Then:
Boy: Hello?
Salesman: It’s you. I thought you were going to call your sister.
Boy: I did. The trouble is, I can’t get her out of the playpen.

……………..

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