One day a blonde went to a store and saw Donuts that were sugar free. So she grabbed them and walked out of the store without paying.
Security stopped her and asked, “Excuse me miss, but what do you think you are doing?”
She said ” Duhuh…Im taking the free Sugar donuts!”
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A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.
They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”
Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was,’Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’
I’m like…Helloooooo? It’s only 25 cents!!!!
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A man was carrying 2 babies, one in each arm, while waiting for a train.
Along came this lady, who when seeing the 2 cute babies, started asking the man, “Aren’t they cute, what are their names?”
The man giving the lady an angry look replied, “I don’t know.”
The lady asked again, “Which is a boy and which is a girl?”
The man looking angrier than before replied, “I don’t know.”
The woman then started to scold the man, “What kind of a father are you?”
The man replied, “I am not their father, I am just a condom salesman and these are 2 complaints that I am taking back to my company.”
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One day an old lady was sitting at her old home with her old dog. A fairy suddenly pops up next to her. It tells her, “You have lived a good life. I will now grant you three magic wishes.”
The old women thinks for a minute, and then makes up her mind. She says, “My first wish is that I will be young and beautiful again.” POOF! She is.
“My second wish is that I am very rich and live in a mansion.” POOF! Her tattered, old house becomes a magnificent mansion, and she is the richest person in the world.
“My third wish is that my old dog will become a handsome young man and will be deeply in love with me.” POOF! The old, mangy dog becomes what she wishes,a handsome man, with a beautiful face, and tender longing eyes.
He then leans over and whispers into her ear, “Honey, aren’t you sad you got me fixed?”
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