A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help. “If I gave you $1,500 minus 3%, how much would you take off?”

The secretary replied, “Everything but my earrings.”

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College Entrance Exam – Football Player Version – Time Limit: 3 Weeks

1.What language is spoken in France?

2.Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR-
give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.

3.Would you ask William Shakespeare to
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY

4.What religion is the Pope?
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic
(check only one)

5.Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?

6.What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?

7.How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)

8.What are people in America’s far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners

9.Spell-Bush, Carter and Clinton
Bush:
Carter:
Clinton:

10.Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five.

11.Where does rain come from?
(a) Macy’s
(b) a 7-11
(c) Canada
(d) the sky

12.Can you explain Einstein’s Theory of Relativity?
(a) yes
(b) no

13.What are coat hangers used for?

14.The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for what country?

15.Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR-
spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.

16.Where is the basement in a three story building located?

17.Which part of America produces the most oranges?
(a) New York
(b) Florida
(c) Canada
(d) Wisconsin

18.Advanced math. If you have three apples how many apples do you have?

19.What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corp.) stand for?

20.The Cornell University tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)?
(a) B.C.
(b) A.D.

Name:

*You must answer three or more questions correctly to qualify*

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A young executive is working late one evening. As he comes out of his office about 8 PM he sees the Big Boss standing by the shredder in the hallway, a piece of paper in his hand. “Do you know how to work this thing?” the older man asks. “My secretary’s gone home and I don’t know how to run it.” “Yes, sir,” says the young executive, who turns on the machine, takes the paper from the other man, and feeds it in. “Now,” says his boss, “I just need the one copy

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There were a couple of old gals in the local nursing home who were getting a little bored with the lack of excitement in their surroundings. They decided to liven things up and took their clothes off and walked through the local male gathering area in the buff. One of the men poked the other one and asked if he had seen what just went by. The other replied yep he had seen it and whatever it was it sure did need ironing

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