So Superman is flying by and he sees Wonder women sunbathing nude on top of a building….. He thinks to himself…” I wonder if she’d notice if I’m real quick”…. So he flys down, bangs her quick and fly’s out.
Wonder women sits up and is like, ” What the hell was that?” the invisible man sits up and says, “I don’t know but my ass really hurts”….
 

 A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game.

The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun.

He explains” I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa.” Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500!.”

Figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it’s the blonde’s turn. She asks the lawyer: “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?” The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look.

He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress.

Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. Afterover an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.

The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, so what IS the answer!?”

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

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 A woman pregnant with triplets is walking down the street when a masked robber runs out the bank and shoots her three times in the stomach.

Luckily the babies are okay. The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it’s too risky to operate.

All is fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walks into the room in tears. “What’s wrong” asks the mother. “I was taking pee and this bullet came out” replies the daughter.

The mother tells her it’s okay and explains what happened 16 years ago. About a week later the second daughter walks in to the room in tears.

“Mom, I was taking pee and this bullet came out”. Again the mother tells her not to worry and explains what happened 16 years ago.

A week later the boy walks into the room in tears. “It’s okay” says the mom, “I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out.” “No,” says the boy, “I was jerking off and I shot the dog.”
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A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.

They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole.

The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart. It wasn’t loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot.

Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the women’s feet, and said in a rather stern voice, “Ginger!” The woman thought, “this is great!” and a big smile came across her face.

A couple minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn’t even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip.

The father again looked at the dog and yelled, “dammit Ginger!” Once again the woman smiled and thought, “yes!” A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip.

This time she didn’t even think about it. She let rip with a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing.

Again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, “dammit Ginger, get away from her before she shits on you!”

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