There was a blonde that lived in a small house on the corner of 4th Avenue.

She had a small shed in her backyard where she kept gardening tools. One day, she thought she saw smoke coming out of the roof of the shed.

In a panic she called 911. They answered and said “This is Joe Anderson is there an emergency?”

The blonde replied “Yes my shed is on fire!!!” Joe said, “Don’t panic help in on the way…where do you live?”

The blonde said, “IN A HOUSE NOW HURRY!!”

Joe calmly responded back, “How are we supposed to get there?”

The blonde answered back, “DUH!!! A BIG RED TRUCK!”

……………..

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One spring morning, a blonde was excited to try out her new boat.

She was unable to have her boat perform, travel through water, or do any maneuvers whatsoever no matter how hard she tried.

After trying for over three days to make it work properly, she decided to seek professional help. She putted the boat over to the local marina in hopes that someone there could identify her problem.

The workers determined that everything from the engine to the outdrive was working perfectly on the topside of the boat. So, a puzzled marina employee jumped into the water to check underneath the boat for problems.

Because he was laughing so hard, he came up choking on water and gasping for air. Under the boat, still strapped in place securely, was the trailer.

……………..

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Wee Hughie came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him.

“What’s the story this time. Hughie?” he asked sarcastically, “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.”

Wee Hughie sighed, “Everything went wrong this morning. The wife decided to drive me to the harbour. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the ferry didn’t turn up.

Rather than let you down, I swam across the river, ran over the mountain, borrowed a bicycle and cycled the 20 miles through the glen to this office, and here I am!”

“You’ll have to do better than that, Hughie,” said his boss, disappointed, “No woman can be ready in ten minutes.”

……………..

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scottish man are walking when they see something shining at the top of a building.

They go up to see what it is, and see a lamp.

The Englishman picks it up and rubs it and a genie pops out and says there is a slide at the top of that building. When you slide down it whatever you say you land in a pit of it at the bottom.

The Englishman slides down and says money. He lands in a pit of money.

The Irishman slides down and says beer. He lands in a pit of beer.

The Scottish man gets to the top of the slide, trips and says
“Oh, crap!”

……………..

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