Little Benny was very sick, and the doctors had given up hope.

As a last present, his parents brought him to Arabia on a trip. While they were walking through a market, little Benny bought a lamp from a vendor.

When he arrived home, he rubbed the lamp to clean it, and, to his surprise, a genie popped out in a flash of light.

“What is it that you require?”, the genie boomed. “I just want to get better,” little Benny replied.
“Very well,” said the genie. “But on one condition: as per the custom of my people, you can never shave your face. If you do, you will be turned into a Persian urn.”

Little Benny eagerly agreed, and the genie disappeared. When little Benny went to the doctor again, he was shocked to see that Benny had completely recovered.

Years go by. Benny has grown up and gotten married. All this time, he had kept his word, and never shaven once. However, it was beginning to get to him. It was hard to sleep at night because of the heavy beard and the itching.

One night, he decides he has had enough and grabs a razor to shave. His wife tries to talk him out of it, but he doesn’t listen.

As soon as the razor cuts a single hair, he transforms into a large Persian urn.
The moral of the story? A Benny shaved is a Benny urned.

“””””

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A dwarf with a lisp goes to visit a stud farm.
“I’d like to buy a horth”
He says to the owner of the farm.
“What sort of horse?”
Said the owner.

“A female horth”
The dwarf replies.

So the owner shows him a lovely mare.
“Nithe horth.”
Says the dwarf,
“Can I thee her eyeth?”

So the owner picks up the dwarf and holds him to show him the horses eyes.
“Nithe eyeth.”
Says the dwarf,
“Can I thee her teeth?”

Again the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses teeth.
“Very nithe teeth…. can I see her eerth?”
The dwarf says.

By now the owner is getting a little fed up but doesn’t want to risk spoiling the sale
Again he picks up the dwarf to show him the horses ears.
“Nithe eerth”

He says.
“Now. ..can I see her twot?”

With this the owner picks the dwarf up by the scruff of his neck and shoves his head deep in just under the horses tail, right into the lady parts.

He holds him there for a couple of seconds before pulling him out and putting him down.
The dwarf shakes his head and says:

“Perhaps I should weefwaze that…”

“Can I see her wun awound?”

“””””

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A plane crashes in the pacific ocean. The only survivors are five men and a gorgeous woman

After a few days they end up on a desert island. After several failed attempts to get in contact with the outside world, they give up and come to terms with the fact that they have to spend the rest of their lives on this island.

They quickly acquire the necessary skills to build houses and live off the land. All goes well, except for the fact that the men are constantly fighting over the lady.

After several conflicts, they organize a meeting and conclude that there is only one way to solve this problem: Each of the men gets one day of the week to share with the woman and in the weekends she has some time for herself.

This arrangement, although controversial, works amazingly well for a couple of years.
But then, on a tragic day, the woman dies.

The first week after her death is hard for the men.

In the second week, the frustrations really start to build up.

In the third week, they realize that nothing will ever be the way it was.

In the fourth week, the situation becomes unbearable.

So after five weeks, they finally decided to bury her.

“””””

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Dugly and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Dugly would say, “Edna, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.”

Edna always replied, “I know Dugly but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks.”
One year Dugly and Edna went to the state fair and Dugly said, “Edna, I’m 85 years old, if I don’t ride that helicopter, I may never get another chance.”

To this Edna replied, “Dugly, that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks.”

The pilot overheard the couple and said, “Folks I’ll make you a deal, I’ll take the both of you for a ride, if you can both stay quiet and don’t say a word, I won’t charge you guys a penny! But if you say one word, it’s fifty bucks.”

Dugly and his wife agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers m, but not a word was heard. He did these daredevil tricks over and over again, but still nothing.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Dugly and said, “By golly I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t, I’m impressed!”

Dugly replied, “ Well, to tell you the truth, I almost did when Edna fell out, but you know, FIFTY BUCKS IS FIFTY BUCKS!!”

“””””

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