A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was.

When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.
“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!” he yelled with surprising forcefulness.
No one answered.

“Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I dun in Texas!”

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town.

The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, before you go… what happened in Texas?”
The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”

“””””

Loco Domains has .info domains for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.

The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’ I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’ Well, the hours passed and the drinks went down way too easily.

Around 3 a.m., a bit pissed, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him ‘MIDNIGHT’… he didn’t seem pissed off in the least.

Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said ‘We need a new cuckoo clock.’

When I asked him why, he said, ‘Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said ‘oh shit.’ Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

“””””

Loco Domains has .info domains for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.

A bus full of nuns get killed in a car accident. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St Peter, he says to them, “Sisters welcome to heaven, in a moment I will let you all through the pearly gates but first I must ask each of you a single question”. St Peter turns to the first nun in the line and asks her, “Sister have you ever touched a penis”.

The sister responds, “There was this one time when the tip of my little finger touched one”.
“Alright then Sister dip your little finger in the holy water and you may be admitted”, Peter replied. She did so. Peter turns to the second nun and says, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis”.
“Well, there was this one time that I held one for a moment”

“Alright Sister, just wash your hand in the holy water and you may be admitted”. She did so.
At this moment Peter hears a jostling in the line, it seemed as though one nun was trying to cut in in-front of another.

St Peter sees this and asks the nun, “Susan what is this, there is no rush”.
Sister Susan responds, “well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff I better do it before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it”.

“””””

Loco Domains has .info domains for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.

A lady dwarf goes to her gynecologist for her annual check up.

“Any issues or concerns?”, asks the Dr.

“Well, now that you mention it, I have noticed that when it rains, my labia gets a bit red and sore.”
“That’s very unusual”, says the Doc, “Hop up on table and let me take a look.”

She does, and after a few minutes of checking he says the lady dwarf can get dressed again.

“There doesn’t appear to be anything wrong at the moment, but next time it rains, and you get the same reaction, I want you to come straight in. OK?”

About two weeks later, after two days of steady rain, the lady dwarf is in a fair amount of discomfort and heads to the Dr’s office.

The Dr has her stand in front of him and gets her to lift her skirt up. Examining her for a few moments he says, ” You’re right, it’s very inflamed, but I think I see the problem.”

He goes to his desk and grabs a pair of surgical scissors and sits back down in front of her. “This won’t hurt a bit”, he says as the scissors near her crotch.

She’s so afraid that she has to look away. After a couple of minutes of cutting he tells the lady dwarf, “OK, you can let your skirt down now. Try a few steps around the office and see if that’s made a difference.”
Cautiously at first she takes little steps, then her eyes light up and she takes several big strides.
“Oh Dr!”, she exclaims joyfully, “That’s such a relief, what did you do?!”

“Not much”, he said, “I just cut about two inches off the top of your rubber boots.”

“””””

Little People Dating at LittlePeopleMatch.com to meet little singles loving for love.