A man takes a pleasant stroll on a Friday evening… suddenly, the Devil himself pops up in front of him and whispers, “Take all the money in your wallet, go to this casino, and put it on the number 27!”
The man is first shocked, then becomes curious, and quickly yields, goes to the casino, puts all the money on 27 and wins!

Excited he exits the casino and meets the Devil again. The latter is silent for a moment and then says again, “Take all your money – all that you’ve won – go inside and put it on 27!” – “Again?!” – “Yes! Do it!” – The man quickly yields, goes in again, puts all the money on 27 and … wins!

Now everyone in the casino is amazed, they check the wheel, nope – no tilt or bias, seems like genuine luck, reluctantly he’s given almost two hundred thousand dollars and leaves elated. Outside he meets the Devil again who again tells him to go put everything on 27, the man is shocked but does so, and wins again!
And now he’s given most of the casino’s bank, millions of dollars, walks out shining like a star, and says to the Devil, “I don’t know why people say you’re the most sinister being there is, you’ve been awesome to me today!!”

The Devil gives him a weird look, pauses, and replies, “Well that may be true or not… but you are definitely the luckiest motherfucking son of a bitch that I’ve ever fucking seen!!”

“””””

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A man badly wanted to lick the princess’ boobs. He decided to ask his friend Dugly, who works in the palace. He promised 2,000 gold coins to Dugly, he agreed instantly with the deal.

A few days later, Dugly goes and sprinkles itching powder on the princess’ bra while she was taking a bath. The plan worked successfully, when the prince heard that the princess is having huge discomfort on her chest, he summoned all the palace workers and asked if they know the remedy. Dugly raised his hand and answered

“My Prince, I know of the solution of the problem, it’s a virus, originated in Spain which travels through many countries and infects people rapidly, there is only one solution to this, Prince… but I’m not sure you would like it.

The prince instantly replies “Go on, what is the solution?”

“Well, I know a person, he has the cure in his tongue, when his tongue touches the affected body part it cures the person, if you allow me I will call him immediately to the palace at once.”
“Yes, please do it.”

Dugly’s friend comes and does his thing, enjoying and savouring every moment of it, and also secretly applying the lotion which cures the itching. The Prince and Princess thank him, and he leaves.
At night, Dugly asked his friend for his pay to which his friend refused without any second thoughts and said

“I made a fool out of you, now go, I won’t give you your money. What are you going to do? Tell the prince that you sprinkled the itching powder on the princess?”

Dugly was very furious at this, he thought for a while and then he found out what to do. He sprinkled the itching powder on the prince’s underwear.

“””””

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An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Dugly, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Dugly,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my potato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the lot for me.
Love Dad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Dad,
For heaven’s sake, dad, don’t dig up that garden, that’s where I buried the BODIES!
Love Dugly,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At 4 the next morning, F. B. I. agents and local police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love Dugly.

“””””

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A black and white guy are training at the gym. After their training session they hit the changing room and undress.

The white guy can’t help but look at the black guys penis size and remarks, “How did you get it so big?”

He replies, “It’s a muscle so when I go home, I put on a warm bath, get inside and begin to stretch it by tugging and pulling for 30 minutes everyday. Try it for a month and you’ll see for yourself.”

So the white guy goes home after gym every night and gets into a warm bath. He tugs. He pulls. For 30 minutes every night.

A month later…

The black sees his friend and asks how the stretching was going…

The white guy replies, “Bad. Nothing has changed.”

The black guy says, “Ok, well, what colour is it?”

The white guy replies, “Black.”

The black guy says in return, “Well, you halfway there.”

“””””

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