Hire local drunk handyman or a Gay man

Brenda’s husband died young and left his vast coconut estate to her.

Brenda was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the properties, but knew very little about coconut farming, so she spread the word that she needed a man to look after the estate.

Two men applied for the job. One was the local drunk handyman, Nathen, and the other was Kyle who was gay.

Brenda thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied for the job she decided to hire Kyle, figuring it would be safer to have a gay around the house than a drunk.

Kyle proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about caring for coconut trees. For weeks, the two of them worked side by side, and the coconut plantation was soon flourishing.

Then one Saturday the widow Brenda said to Kyle, “You have done a really good job, and the farm and the coconut trees look great. You should take a break and go out and have a good time. Maybe watch a movie or go for a dance. Here’s some money. Have a blast!”

Kyle readily agreed and went into town that Saturday night.

One o’clock came and no Kyle

Two o’clock and no Kyle

Finally Kyle returned around two-thirty in the morning, and upon entering the room, he found the widow Brenda sitting in the candlelit hall with a glass of wine, waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her.

‘Unbutton my blouse and take it off,’ she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed..

‘Now take off my shoes.’
He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

‘Now take off my stockings.’
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

“Now take off my skirt.’
He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the candlelight.

‘Now take off my bra.’
Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said,
‘’If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired.’’

“””””

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5 dollar bills

A man walks into a bar and sits down. On the counter, there was a big jar full of 5 dollar bills. The man asks the bartender “Hey, whats that big jar of money for?” The bartender says “We have a donkey out back and if you can make him laugh, you get all the money in the jar. But if you can’t make him laugh, you have to give us 5 dollars to put towards the next persons prize money.” The man says ”Ok, im gonna go give it a try.” He goes out back, and about a minute later, the bartender hears the donkey laughing hysterically. The man walks back in, the bartender gives him the money, and he leaves.

About a week later, he comes back to the bar, and sits down. The same jar of money is there, and its full again. He asks the bartender if he can do it again. The bartender says “Go ahead, but this time, you have to make him cry.” The man gets up, walks out back, and about a minute later hears the donkey sobbing uncontrollablly. The man walks back in and the bartender asks “Well, you made him laugh, and you made him cry. How did you do it?” The man replies and says…

”The first time, I told him my dick was bigger than his. And the second time, I showed him.”

“””””

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Man lays across three seats

A man lays sprawled across three entire seats at a posh theatre. Before the show has even started, an usher walks by and notices the man.

“Sir, you’re only allowed one seat, can you please sit up?”

The man groans, but remains seated. The Usher becoming impatient with the man, “sir, if you don’t get up, I will need to get my manager involved”

Again the man just groans, which infuriates the Usher as he marches off to get the manager. In a few moments he returns with the manager and they both repeatedly attempt to move him, but with no success. It was at this point that the manager calls the police.

Moments later, a police officer arrives and approaches the man, “alright buddy, what’s your name?”

“Dugly” the man moans.

“And where ya from Dugly?”

With pain in his voice Dugly replied, “the balcony”.

“””””

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Sons came out as gay

A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. “Long day?” the bartender asks. “Well… My oldest son just came out as gay”

The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. “What now?” the bartender asks.

“My middle son just came out as gay.” The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots.

“Again?” the bartender asks. “Yeah. My youngest son.” He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots.

“My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??” the bartender asks. “Yeah… My wife.”

“””””

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