Have you seen a 20 dollar bill crumpled up?
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Have you seen a 20 dollar bill crumpled up?

While enjoying their evening cocktails, the wife asks her husband, in very seductive voice, “Have you ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?”

“No,” said her husband.

She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra, and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar bill.
He took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.

She then asked him, “Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?”

“Uh… no, I haven’t,” he said, with an anxious tone in his voice.

She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her panties……and pulled out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill.

He took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.

“Now,” she said, “have you ever seen Fifty Thousand Dollars all crumpled up?”

He said, “No!” trying to contain his excitement.

She said, “Check your truck in the garage.”

“””””

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Dating in 1958
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Dating in 1958

It’s 1958 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Peggy Sue’s father answers the door and invites him in.
He asks Bobby what they’re planning to do on the date.

Bobby politely responds that they’ll probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.

Peggy Sue’s father suggests, “Why don’t you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it.”
Bobby is shocked. “Excuse me, sir?”

“Oh yes, Peggy Sue really likes to screw. She’ll screw all night if we let her.”

Peggy Sue comes downstairs and announces that she’s ready to go.

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father, “Dad! The Twist! It’s called the Twist!”

“””””

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Male Logic
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Male Logic

Woman: And how long have you been drinking?

Man: About 20 years, I suppose

Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5,400 …correct?

Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
Man: Correct

Man: Do you drink beer?

Woman: No

Man: Where’s your Ferrari?

“””””

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What it means to be British?
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What it means to be British?

One of the British national daily newspapers was asking readers: “What it means to be British?”.

Some of the emails were hilarious but this one from a Swiss was a winner. “Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on a Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

He buys a holiday home in Spain, Skis in France, fancies Swedish birds and has a Romanian au-pair. And the most British thing of all? “Suspicious of anything Foreign ”

“””””

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