Affair with the pastor’s wife
description

Affair with the pastor’s wife

Dugly goes to his buddy Jake and says … “I’m having an affair with the pastor’s wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after service for me?”

The friend doesn’t like it but being a buddy, he agrees. After service, Jake starts talking to the pastor, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the pastor gets annoyed and asks him what he’s really up to.

Jake feeling guilty, finally confesses to the pastor…

“My friend is having an affair with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied.”

The pastor smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Jake’s shoulder and says…

“You better hurry home now, my wife died a year ago”

“““““

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A man is walking on a beach, and finds a lamp
description

A man is walking on a beach, and finds a lamp

A man is walking on a beach, and finds a lamp containing a genie that offers him 3 wishes, however, whatever his wish, his mother-in-law gets double of it.

The man is upset at first since he hated his mother-in-law, but decides to try it out.

“I wish for a hundred million dollars” the man told the genie.

The genie nods his head, and $100,000,000 appears before the man.

“Gtanted, but Your mother-in-law now has $200,000,000 as well” said the genie.

“Aww man… okay… I wish for a 100 room mansion, with servants”.

The genie nods, and a massive mansion appeared by the man, with a full crew of servants lined up in front.

“Granted, but your mother-in-law now has TWO mansions, and twice as many servants” the genie replied, “You have one wish remaining”.

“Man, this is some bull…I hate that old bat…” the man said as he thought about his last wish.

Suddenly he smiled widely, picks up a tree branch, and hands it to the genie.

“What is this?” The genie asked.

“I wish for you to take this stick, and beat me half to death!”

“““““

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Three couples are trying to get married at the same church
description

Three couples are trying to get married at the same church

Three couples are trying to get married at the same church.

There is a young couple, a middle-aged couple, and an elderly couple.

The three couples meet with the priest and discuss when they can get married.

“If you wish to get married in my church, you must all go one month without having sex,” says the priest.

One month later the three couples return to the church and talk to the priest.

He then asks the elderly couple, “Have you completed the month with sex?”

“Yes we have, it was easy,” replies the elderly couple.

“How about you?” He asks the middle-aged couple.

“It was hard, but we didn’t have sex for the whole month,” they respond.

“And how about you two?” He asks the young couple.

“No we couldn’t do it,” responds the boyfriend.

“Tell me why,” says the priest.

“Well my girlfriend had a can of corn in her hand and she accidentally dropped it. She bent over to pick it up and that’s when it happened.”

The priest then tells them, “You’re not welcome in my church.”

“We’re not welcome in the supermarket either,” says the boyfriend

——-

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Jim and his friend Dugly both loved baseball
description

Jim and his friend Dugly both loved baseball

Jim and his friend Dugly both loved baseball very much. One day, Dugly asked Jim,

“do you think there’s baseball in heaven?”.

“Not sure” Jim replied.

A few days later, Dugly was hit by a drunk driver and died. Jim took it hard a would spend hours walking the beach.

One day, Jim heard a voice come from the sky, it was Dugly! Jim asked, “is there baseball in heaven?”

Dugly replies, “I got good news and bad news”.

“What’s the good news?” Jim asked

“Well, there IS baseball in heaven.” Said Dugly

“And the bad news?”, Jim asked

“Well, you’re pitching on Tuesday.”

“““““

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