Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One of the guys said he was going to bug him.

He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a real tosser.”

“Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that.”

Puzzled, the English man walked back to his buddies. “I told him St. Patrick was a tosser and he didn’t care!”

“You just don’t know how to set him off. Watch and learn.”

The second English man walked over and tapped the Irish man on the shoulder. “I hear your St. Patrick was a wanker!”

“Oh, wow, I didn’t know that, thank you.”

Shocked beyond belief, the English man went back to his buddies. “You are right, he is unshakable!”
The third English man said: “No, no, no, I will really bug him, you just watch.”

The English man walked over to the Irish man, tapped him on the shoulder and said: “I hear your St. Patrick was an Englishman!”

“Yeah, that’s what your buddies were trying to tell me.”

“””””

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Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball when suddenly a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head.

He passes the first woman, who looks down at his penis. “He’s not my husband,” she says.

He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis. “He’s not my husband either.”

He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her.

“Wait a minute,” she says. “He’s not even a member of this club.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Four surgeons are discussing their favorite patients to work on.

The first surgeon to speak says “librarians are my favorite; when you cut them open, everything inside is alphabetical filed.”

The next surgeon replies “I prefer to work on accountants, because everything is in numerical order.”

The third surgeon rebuttles “electricians are the best, when you open them up, everything is color-coded.”

After some thought, the fourth surgeon finally speaks up. “I like working on politicians.” Baffled, the other three surgeons turn to each other in disbelief.

The fourth surgeon continues: “Because they’re heartless, gutless, spineless, and the ass and head are interchangeable.”

“””””

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A drunk man stumbles out of bar and runs into 2 priest. The drunk man looks at the 1st priest and says,
“Hey, I’m Jesus Christ.”

The 1st priest tells the man, “No, my son, you’re not.”

Then the man turns to the 2nd priest and says the same thing. “Hey, I’m Jesus Christ.”

The 2nd priest tells the man, “No, my son, you’re not.”

The drunk man tells the priests that he can prove it. So he takes the 2 priests into the bar and the bartender says,

“Jesus Christ. You’re back again?”

“””””

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