A man is walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:
Bump…
Bump…
Bump…

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
Bump…
Bump…
BUMP…

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home. The casket still bouncing quickly behind him.
Faster…
Faster…
FASTER…
Bump…
Bump…
BUMP…

He runs up to his door, fumbles with the keys, opens the door, rushes in and slams and locks the door behind him.
Rushing up the stairs to his bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding. His head is reeling. His breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping towards him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket!

And…

The coffin stops….

“””””

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A Jewish man sends his son to Israel to live there for a while. Eventually he returns home and he is now a Christian. The man finds this to be odd and mentions it to his friend.

The friend listens, thinks for a moment and says, “That’s odd. I sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian.”
So the two of them went to see the Rabbi. They told the Rabbi the story of how they had both sent their sons to Israel as Jews, and how both sons had returned as Christians.

The Rabbi listened, thought for a minute and then said “That’s odd. I also sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian.”
So the three of them decide to go to Israel to find out what’s going on over there. The arrive and go straight to the Western Wall to pray.
They explain to God all about how they sent their sons to Israel as Jews and how the all returned as Christians.

There is a long silence, and then God begins to speak saying, “That’s odd . . . ”

“””””

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Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the disaster was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull left smouldering in a tree line that bordered a farm.

The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but did not find the remains of anyone, including the President. They spotted a lone farmer ploughing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to the man’s tractor.

“Hank,” the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath. “Did you see this terrible accident happen?” “Yup. Sure did.” The farmer mumbled unconcernedly, cutting off his motor.

“Do you realize that is the airplane of the President of the United States?” “Yup.””Were there any survivors?” “Nope. They’s all kilt straight out” the farmer answered. “I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning.”

“President Trump is dead?” the sheriff shouted. “Well,” the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor. “He kept a-saying he wasn’t… but you know what a liar he is!”

“””””

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A couple from Oklahoma have driven their motorhome across the border and are slightly lost.

Naturally the husband is loathe to ask anyone for help, but after a few minutes of his wife nagging, he finally relents.

He exits the motorhome and approaches a friendly looking stranger and asks, ” Excuse me, we seem to be a bit lost, can you tell me where we are?”
“Saskatoon”, says the local.

The Yank is a bit puzzled and asks further, “No, where exactly are we?”

“Saskatoon, Saskatchewan”, the stranger replies.

After a few seconds pause, the Oklahoman says, “Thanks” and heads back to the RV.

“So, where are we?!”, asks his wife.

“I don’t know, he didn’t speak English.”

“””””

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