Three sailors are discussing their cargo

They are used to transporting goods and make a good living doing so, this time however they’ve been tasked with taking 300 boxes of penis shaped potatoes across the channel and they all think it’s a joke.

“We’ll be a laughing stock” says the first sailor.

“I’ll never be able to live it down” says the second.

“Let’s tell the captain that we’ve decided not to go” says the third.

Headstrong they head to the captains quarters to voice their displeasure and inform him of their decision.

The captain hears them out but ultimately disagrees and informs them that they’ll be going ahead with the journey.

“But we’ve got you outvoted 3 to 1” the sailors cried in unison.

“You fools” said the captain “you’re all forgetting one thing!”
“What’s that?” Exclaimed the sailors.

The captain stood tall and addressed them powerfully.

“That this isn’t a democracy…”

“It’s a dick tater ship!”

“““““

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So, Chad sees an ad in the newspaper that says “Circus Looking for New Talents”.

Chad says to himself, “Eh, what the hell. I’m pretty talented,” and calls the circus. A lady answers him.

“Hello,” she says.

“Hi, is this the circus?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve heard you’re hiring.”

“You’ve heard correctly, sir. What is your name?”

“Chad.”

“Alright then, Chad, what makes you think you can join the circus?”

“Well, I have several talents… for example, I can shoot a three-pointer in basketball, like five times in a row.”

“O… Okay… That’s quite impressive, sir, but it’s not really not what we’re looking for. I think maybe you should call the NB…”

“No, no, wait! I… I can hula hoop for like 30 seconds straight!”

“Sir, I really don’t think you understand what the concept of a cir…”

“No, please, I… I… I can jump on one leg while saying the alphabet backwards!”

“…”

“…”

“Goodbye, sir.”

She hangs up the phone.

Chad sits there for like five seconds until he realizes he forgot something.

“Oh crap! I forgot to tell her I’m a horse!”

“““““

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A kid comes home from school and he tells his father his math teacher wants to see him. His father asks why and kid says “well he asked me what is 6×7 and i said 42 then he asked me what is 7×6 and i said what the fuck is the difference?” his father says “ok i will visit your teacher when i have time.”.
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Next day he asks his father if he talked with his teacher. Dad says “not yet.”. Then kid says “When you come to my schools visit my P.E teacher too.”. His father asks “what happened?” Kid says ” He wanted me to raise my left arm and i did, then he wanted me to raise my right arm and i did, then he wanted me to raise my left leg i did that too but then he told me to raise my right leg and i said what am i going to stand on? my dick?”. His dad says “ok son i will give him a visit too”.
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Next day kid says his dad “dad have you visited my teachers?”. Dad says “not yet.”. Kid says “there is no need to anymore i got expelled.” dad “why did you expelled?”. Kid tells “They called me to principals office there were my math teacher, my P.E teacher and my science teacher.” Dad asks ” What the fuck was your science teacher doing there?”
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and kid says “Yeah i asked the same.”.

“““““

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A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency looking to adopt a child, but the social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.

So the couple produces photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean and well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery.

The social workers are satisfied by this but then raise concerns about the kind of education a child would receive while in the couple’s care.

The husband puts their mind at ease, saying, “We’ve arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin, and computer skills.”

Next though, the social workers express concern about a child being raised in a circus environment.

This time the wife explains, “Our nanny is a certified expert in pediatric care, welfare, and diet.”

The social workers are finally satisfied and ask the couple, “What age child are you hoping to adopt?”

The husband says, “It doesn’t really matter, as long as the kid fits in the cannon.”

“““““

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