A large university class is taking the final exam. About 300 students are writing away in their blue books and the professor warns two minutes til pencils down. Then one minute. Then he calls out that the exam is over, please stop writing.

As the body of students slowly lines up to turn in their exams, one student keeps writing. The professor sternly says if you do not stop writing now, I will not accept you exam. The student keeps writing. The en professor says again the exam is over. The student keeps writing, but the professor has give up at this point.

Finally, at the back of the line, the student comes to turn in his blue book. The professor says, I’m sorry, I gave you multiple warnings, you wrote for several minutes past the end, I’m not going to accept your exam.
The student says, indignant, “Do you have any idea who I am?”

The, now shocked, professor says, “No, I don’t.”

And with that, the student lifts up half of the exams, shoves his into the middle of the pile, and walks out.

“””””

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A man and woman who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping compartment on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, the man in the upper berth and the woman in the lower one.

At 1:00 am, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet and get me a blanket? I’m awfully cold.”

“I have a better idea,” she replied, “Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married.”

“Wow, that’s a great idea!” he exclaimed.

“Good,” she replied. “Get your own fucking blanket.”

After a moment of silence, he farted.

“””””

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A guy gets too drunk while playing golf and forgets what hole he’s on

He sees a woman ahead of him and yells “what hole am I on?”

She says “you must be on the hole behind me and I’m on 5, so you must be on 4.”

He plays a few holes and forgets again. He sees her and yells “hey, what hole am I on now?”

She says “you’re on the hole behind me and I’m on 12, so you must be on 11.”

He eventually finishes and goes to the clubhouse bar for one last beer. He sees the woman, thanks her for the help, and asks what she does.

“It’s kind of embarrassing, please don’t laugh. But I sell menstrual supplies.”

The man starts laughing hysterically and she glares at him, obviously upset at his laughing.

“No no no, I’m not laughing at what you do” he says. “It’s just that I sell toilet paper. So I’m on the hole behind you.”

“””””

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Woman goes to the doctor for a checkup as she has been unsatisfied with her sex life and is told her vagina has become rather loose over the years.

Upset she returns home and laying a mirror on the floor, gets naked, straddles the mirror and starts to examine herself.

Her husband walks in and surprised to find his wife naked, asks what she is doing. She tells him what the doctor said. He replied “OK, but be careful you don’t fall into that big hole”.
“””””

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