Joke of the Day: Sisters and the bull

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.

Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.

Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.”

The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, “I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.” The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, “It’s just 99 cents a word.”

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for few minutes, she nods, and says, “I want you to send her the word,’ comfortable’.”

The telegraph operator shakes his head. “How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word comfortable’?”

The brunette explains, “My sister’s blonde. She’ll read it slow.”

“““““

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Joke of the Day: Dead Rooster

Mark was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster.

Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car in a cloud of feathers.

Shaken, Mark pulled over at the farmhouse and rang the doorbell.

A farmer appeared. Mark somewhat nervously said, “I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him.”

“Suit yourself,” the farmer replied, “the hens are round the back.”
——-

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Joke of the Day: Critically ill

An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he
called his lawyer. “I want to become a lawyer. How much is
it or the express degree you told me about?”

“It’s $50,000,” the lawyer said. “But why? You’ll be dead soon,
why do you want to become a lawyer?”

“That’s my business! Get me the course!”

Four days later, the old man got his law degree. His lawyer
was at his bedside, making sure his bill would be paid.

Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing and
it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the
lawyer leaned over and said, “please, before it’s too late,
tell me why you wanted to to get a law degree so badly before
you died?”

In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said,
“One less lawyer . . .”

——-

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Joke of the Day: Cheating

Tim was trying to console a friend who’d just found his wife
in bed with another man.

“Get over it, buddy,” he said. “It’s not the end of the world.”

“It’s all right for you to say,” answered Tim. “But what
if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with
your wife?”

The fella ponders for a moment, then says, “I’d break his cane
and kick his seeing-eye dog in the ass.”

“““““

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