There was once a very successful farmer from Texas who started gaining interest in his ancestry. After doing some digging, he traced his lineage back to a small town in Ireland. And lo and behold, they were a family of farmers. So he packed his bags and took a trip to Ireland to visit the small town to see if he could track down some of his kin.

After landing in Dublin, and driving an hour outside of the city, he stopped in a pub to grab a drink and start asking around about his family.

The Texan sat down, ordered a pint, and started talking to the Irishman sitting at the bar. After explaining his story and the purpose of the trip, the Irishman responded, “You don’t say! I’ve never heard of your family, but I’m a farmer as well. Tell me, what’s it like farming in Texas?”

“Gladly,” the Texan said, “farming in Texas has been quite lucrative for me. If you started out in the morning, and drove west, you could drive all day before you reached the end of my property. And if you started the next day and drove East all day, you wouldn’t reach the end of my property. Same thing North and South, you could drive either direction all day and you wouldn’t reach the end of my farmland.”
“Ahh, I know what you mean,” said the Irishman, “I’ve got a tractor like that as well.”

“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $9.99.

A couple is asleep when their doorbell rings at 3am.

The wife shakes the husband and says “honey, there’s someone at the door.”
The husband, irritated gets up and opens the door to an obviously drunk man.
“Can I help you?”

“Could you give me a push?” asks the drunk man.

“Hell no, and besides you are drunk” and slams the door shut.

As he gets back into bed, his wife begins to lecture him.”Don’t you remember when we were stranded on the side of the road and people stopped to help us? You should go outside and help the poor man.”
Realizing this, the husband gets dressed and heads to the door. Opening it, he realizes the man has left and yells out, “Do you still need a push?”
In the distance he hears a reply, “Yes Please.”
“Where are you?” to which he hears,
?
“Over here on the swing set.”

“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $9.99.

A stoner rubs a bong and a genie comes out, offering three wishes.

The stoner says, “ok for my first wish, I want a six inch joint.” And poof! A joint appears and the stoner and genie sit down and smoke it together.

“For my second wish, I want a 12 inch blunt!” And poof! A blunt appears and the stoner and genie sit down and smoke it together.

“Ok now for my third wish, I want an 18 inch monster roll with a THC-concentrate core!” And poof! The biggest blunt you’ve ever seen appears and the stoner and genie sit down and smoke it together.

Finally the genie gets up and slowly starts to stagger away. Then he stops, turns, and comes back and says “alright man what are your three wishes”.

“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $9.99.

A millionaire was riding in his Bentley when he saw a lady eating grass in a pasture near the road.

Perturbed, he stopped his car and got out to check on her. “Why are you eating grass?” he asked her.

“I am very poor and do not have any money, so I have to eat grass“ the lady replied.

“Well then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you,” the millionaire said.

“But sir, I have a husband and 4 children with me. They are over there, across the street.”

“Bring them along!“ the millionaire responded.

They all squeezed into the car. Halfway to his house, one of the kids turned to the millionaire and said, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”

The millionaire replied, “Happy to do it. Y’all will LOVE my place; the grass is nearly a foot high!”

“””””

Millionaire Dating to meet millionaires and billionaires. Visit MillionaireHotDate.com today !