Joke of the Day – The Stork

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. Baby stork is crying and crying, and father stork is trying to calm him, “Don’t worry, son. Your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.”

The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, son is crying, and mother is saying, “Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he’s bringing joy to new mommies and daddies.”

A few days later, the stork parents are desperate. Their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns, and the parents ask him where he’s been all night.

Says the baby stork, “Nowhere in particular. Just scaring the hell out of college students!”

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Joke of the Day – accountant joke

Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two’s hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, “What is this?” to which accountant number one replies, “it’s that $50 I owe you.”

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Joke of the Day – Marriage is..

A best man’s speech should be like a mini-skirt: short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover the bare essentials.

A classified ad which read “Wife Wanted” received hundreds of responses, all from men saying “You can have mine.”

A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.

A husband expects his wife to be perfect… and to understand why he’s not.

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Joke of the Day – Blonde Jokes

Q. Why don’t blondes eat Jello?
A. They can’t figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.

Q. What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A. A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q. Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A. Because she blows the horn!

Q. Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A. Because everybody gets a turn.

Q. Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A. Because she’s been laid all over the country.

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