This man walks into the kitchen, looks at his wife and says “My God, your ass is getting as big as a barbeque”. That night they are in bed and he is getting frisky. She turns to him and says “If you think that I am going to fire up the barbeque for one little wiener, then you’re crazy”.

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A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her obstetrician’s office.

After the exam, she shyly said, “My husband wants me to ask you…,” to which the doctor replies, “I know, I know,” placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.”

“No, that’s not it,” the woman confessed. “He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn.”

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A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, “How many women can a man marry?” “Sixteen,” the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. “How do you know that?” “Easy,” the little boy said. “All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer”

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The class assignment in composition was to write about something unusual that happened during the past week. Little Irving got up to read his. “Papa fell in the well last week – ” he began. “Good heavens,” shrieked Mrs. Kroop, the teacher. “Is he all right now?” “He must be,” said little Irving. “He stopped yelling for help yesterday.”

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