Seamus has a broken leg and his buddy Paddy comes over to see him.

Paddy asks, “How you doin’?”

Seamus says, “Okay, but do me a favour mate, run upstairs and get me slippers, me feet are freezing.” Paddy goes upstairs and sees Seamus’s gorgeous 19-year old twin daughters lying on the bed.

He says, “Your dad’s sent me up here to have sex with both of you.”

They say, “Get away with ya… Prove it.”

Paddy shouts downstairs, “Seamus, both of ’em?”

Seamus shouts back, “Of course both of ’em, what’s the point of fuckin’ one?”

“””””

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Two poor country girls are broke and decide to do some nude modeling. Cindy has posed for the photographer before so she knows the process.

The photographer invites them into his studio and offers them a drink. Darlene, being nervous, asks Cindy “whass that there in that jug?”.

The reply is “thass moonshine to help us get loose”. They drink.

The photographer opens a large camera case. “Whass he doing now?” asks Darlene. Cindy responds “he gettin’ his cammer set up”.

The photographer gets the big box camera set up on a tripod, attaches the curtain, then starts to get underneath said curtain.

Darlene having no idea how a camera works asks “whass he doin’ now?”. Cindy tells her ” he gon focus”. Darlene, in a shocked tone asks:

“Bofus?!”

“””””

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Mom finds a large number of BDSM magazines beneath her son Tyler’s bed.

She calls her husband up to the room to show him and discuss.

How should we punish Tyler?” she asks.

Father frowns and responds “Well I guess spanking him is out of the question”

——-

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A wife takes her husband to a strip club for their 20th anniversary. At the entrance, the guard says to the husband, “Hey Dugly, how’s it going?”

The woman asks her husband how he knows you, the husband answers from the gym. They enter and sit at the bar, and the bartender asks, “Hey Dugly, the usual?”. The husband turns to his wife tensely saying, we play bowling together…

A stripper approaches the husband and asks, “Do you feel like getting the same as last time?” His wife grabs Dugly and they run out and get into a taxi. She starts screaming at him in the taxi. The driver looks at them and says “Dugly, you picked a real dog this time…”

“””””

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