Son: “Daddy, I fell in love and want to start dating this awesome girl.”

Father: “That’s great, son! Who is she?”

Son: “It’s Amy, the neighbor’s daughter.”

Father: “Ohhh, I wish you hadn’t said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Amy is actually your sister.”

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:

Son: “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!”

Father: “That’s great, son! Who is she?”

Son: “It’s Tina, the other neighbor’s daughter.”

Father: “Ohhh, I wish you hadn’t said that. Tina is also your sister.”

This went on a few more times, and finally the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.

Son: “Mom, I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls and I can’t start dating any of them because dad is their father!”

The mother hugs him affectionately and says, “You can date whoever you want. He isn’t your father!”

“””””

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A tall and lean man goes to a doctor to see about getting his penis enlarged. The doctor says “yes we can do that – there’s a new operation these days. We take the trunk of a baby elephant and graft it into your penis.”

So the man excitedly agrees and gets the operation. Six weeks later after it’s all healed he goes on a date with a woman. While sitting in the restaurant, suddenly his dick reaches up from under the table, grabs a bread roll, and disappears under the table with it.

The man has a mortified look in his face but his date was visibly impressed. “That’s amazing!” She says. Can you do that again?!

“We’ll I’d love to, but I don’t think I can fit another bread roll up my ass…”

“””””

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On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.

The florist’s son handed the teacher a gift.

She shook it, held it up and said, “I bet I know what it is – it’s some flowers!”

“That’s right!” shouted the little boy.

Then the candy store owner’s daughter handed the teacher a gift.

She held it up, shook it and said. “I bet I know what it is – it’s a box of candy!”

“That’s right!” shouted the little girl.

The next gift was from the liquor store owner’s son, Little Johnny.

The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking.

She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.

“Is it wine?” she asked. “No,” Little Johnny answered.

The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.

“Is it champagne?” she asked.

“No,” he answered.

Finally, the teacher said, “I give up. What is it?”
?
Little Johnny replied, “A puppy!”

“””””

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A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.
The local paper read: PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farm for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

“””””

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