Joke of the Day – I need a vacation
description

Joke of the Day – I need a vacation

I decided that I needed a few days off and I realized that I was out of vacation time. I figured the best way to get the boss to send me home was to act a little crazy — he’d think I was burning out and give me some time off.

I came in to work early the next day and began hanging upside down from the ceiling. Just then one of my co-workers (she’s blonde … it’ll be important later) came in and asked me what I was doing.

“Shh,” I said, “I’m acting crazy to get a few days off. I’m a light bulb.”

A minute later the boss walked by and asked me what I was doing. “I’m a light bulb!” I exclaimed.

“You’re going crazy,” he said. “Take a few days off.”

With that, I jumped down and started walking out. My co-worker (the blonde) started following me, and the boss asked where she was going.

“I can’t work in the dark,” she said.

“““““

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

Joke of the Day – What a coincidence
description

Joke of the Day – What a coincidence

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in the bar and asks if he could by him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply.

The first man then asks, “Where are you from?”. “I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man. The first man responds, “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s have another round to Ireland.”

“Of course,” replies the second man, and they both pour back their drinks. Curious, the first man asks, “Where in Ireland asre you from?”

“Dublin,” comes the reply.

“I can’t believe it says the first man.

“I’m from Dublin too Let’s have another drink to Dublin!” the men both continue drinking.

Curiosity strikes again and the first man asks, “What school did you go to?”

“St. Mary’s,” replied the second man. “i graduated in ’62.”

“This is unbelivable, “the first man says. “I went to St. Mary’s and i grduated in ’62, too!”

About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.

“What’s been going on?” he asks the bartender.

“Nothing much” replies the bartender. “the O’Mally twins are drunk again.”

“““““

Find BBW Dating from BHM and BBW who want a relationship at Match4BBW.com

Joke of the Day – Things you should never say to a cop
description

Joke of the Day – Things you should never say to a cop

I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. (ok in Texas)

Sorry, officer, i didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.

Aren’t you the guy from the village people?

Hey, you must’ve been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me.

Are you Andy or Barney?

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?

I pay your salary!

Gee, officer, that’s terrific! the last officer only gave me a warning, too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? okay, just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. yes, i know there are no other cars around, that’s how far ahead of me they are.

——-

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

Joke of the Day – Shopping
description

Joke of the Day – Shopping

An old lady is walking around in a supermarket calling out, “Crisco, Crisssssssco!”

Soon a store clerk approaches and says, “Lady, the Crisco is in aisle D.”

The old lady replies, “Oh, I’m not looking for the cooking stuff. I’m calling my husband.”

The clerk is astonished. “Your husband’s name is Crisco?”

The old lady answers, “Oh no, no, no. I only call him that when we’re out in public.”

“I see,” said the clerk. “What do you call him at home?”

“Lard ass.”

“““““

Check out 007pills.com for Cialis, Viagra, Propecia, Lipitor and more! Visit the Web Pharmacy.