A man is driving late at night when his car breaks down in front of a remote Buddhist monastery.
He knocks on the door and the monks open it. He tells the monks about his situation, and how he can’t call for a mechanic at those hours of the night, so he asks them if he can stay the night in the Buddhist monastery. The monks happily agree, and give him a room with a bed to sleep on.

In the middle of the night, the man wakes up hearing a strange noise. He follows the noise and sees that its source is a strange door made of wood, but it’s locked. The following morning, the monks give the man breakfast and fix his car. He thanks the monks and asks them:

“Honorable monks, I cannot thank you enough for your generosity, but I must ask you a question. Last night I heard a strange noise coming from behind a locked wooden door, and I’m dying to know what the source of the noise is.”

The leader of the monks responds:

“We cannot tell you, because you are not a monk.”

The man thanks the monks again and leaves disappointed. A year goes by, and the man coincidentally breaks down in front of the same monastery. He knocks on the door again and they greet him as an old friend, giving him once again a bed to sleep on. In the middle of the night, the man hears the same strange noise, and follows it again to see it’s coming from the same wooden door, which is still locked. In the morning, the monks once again gave him breakfast and fixed his car, and as he was about to leave the man once again implored the monks to know what was behind the wooden door:

“Thank you once again, kind monks. It has been one whole year and I still wonder what the source of the strange noise is, as I’ve heard it again last night.”

The Buddhist monks all look at each other and cackle. The leader once again steps forward and tells the man:

“We cannot tell you, because you are not a monk.”

The man leaves frustrated once again, and doesn’t stop thinking about the strange noise for months. Two years later, the man coincidentally breaks down in front of the monastery once again, and once again the monks give him shelter. The man hears the strange noise in the night again, and in the morning asks the monks:

“Please, kind monks. I must know the source of the noise, I beg you.”

The Buddhist monks explain to the man once again:
.
“We cannot tell you, because you are not a monk.”

The man asks them what he has to do to become a monk. They tell him he must travel the world and count all the leaves in the world’s trees, all the blades in the world’s grass, all the grains of the world’s sand, and all the drops of water in the world’s oceans. He must return with the exact number, and only then will he become a monk and be able to learn the source of the sound.

The man sets out on his quest to become a monk, and 65 years later returns to the monastery as an old man.

“I have traveled the world,” he said. “I have counted every leaf in the trees, every blade of grass, every grain of sand, and every drop in the ocean. There are 1572794609028 leaves in the world’s trees, 3651820812479 blades of grass in the world, 6810329185872 grains of sand in the world, and 10752899862394 drops of water in the world’s oceans.”

“Congratulations,” the leader of the monks said. “You are now a monk. Please, come with us.”

The Buddhist monks took the man to an initiation ceremony. They gave him his robes and shaved all his hair. The man requested to be taken to the wooden door to learn the source of the strange sound, so the monks took him and gave him the key. The man opened the wooden door, just to find a door made of stone behind it. He asked for the key to the stone door, and the monks gave it to him. He opened the stone door to find a door of coal behind it.

One by one, the man kept unlocking and opening doors. After the door of coal he found a door of glass, then a door of iron, then a door of steel, then a door of bronze, then a door of silver, then a door of ruby, then a door of sapphire, then a door of emerald, then a door of gold, then a door of platinum, then a door of diamond, and finally a door of obsidian.

“This is the final door,” said the leader of the monks. “Behind it you will find the source of the strange sound.”

The monks handed the man the key to the door of obsidian and, as he opened it, the man finally found the source of the strange sound…

But I cannot tell you, because you are not a monk.

“””””

Visit Buddhist Dating to meet singles with the same spiritual beliefs. Go to BuddhistAds.com today.

While walking down the street one day a female head of state is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

Her soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. . “Welcome to Heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the lady.

“Well, I’d like to but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”
“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,” says the head of state.

“I’m sorry but we have our rules.” And with that, St. Peter escorts her to the elevator and she goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and she finds herself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all her friends and other politicians who had worked with her, everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet her, hug her, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.

Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that, before she realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives her a big hug and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for her. “Now it’s time to visit Heaven.” So 24 hours pass with the head of state joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.

They have a good time and, before she realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. “Well then, you’ve spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity.”
She reflects for a minute, then the head of state answers: “Well, I would never have said it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell.”

So Saint Peter escorts her to the elevator and she goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and she is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. She sees all her friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags.

The Devil comes over to her and lays his arm on her neck. “I don’t understand,” stammers the head of state. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.
The Devil looks at her, smiles and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!”

“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $9.99.

A man with no arms and no legs is sunbathing on the beach

A beautiful woman walks over to him and says “awww you poor thing! I bet you’ve never been hugged before have you?”

He replies: “well, no actually I haven’t!”

She leans over and gives him a big hug.

“I bet you’ve never been kissed before either, have you?” she asks.

Once again he replies: “no, no I haven’t!” and she leans over and gives him a kiss.

Finally, she asks: “have you ever been fucked?”

He says “no, no I haven’t!!” And she says “well you are now, the tides coming in!!”

“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $9.99.

A man who’d just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit…

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man looks good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue and that she wants him in a blue suit.

She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, ‘I don’t care what it costs, but have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.’

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly…

She says to the mortician, ‘Whatever this cost, I’m very satisfied… You did an excellent job and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?’

To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check. ‘There’s no charge,’ she says.
‘No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!’ she says.

‘Honestly,’ the blonde says, ‘it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.’
?
‘So I just switched the heads.’

“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $9.99.