A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to review his records.At one point the auditor exclaimed, “Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile.””Thank goodness,” returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face, “I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash.”

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A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Stopping to rest, he tells the shepherd, “I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock.”The shepherd thinks it over. It’s a big flock, so he takes the bet.The man looks around and answers, “869.” The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right.The shepherd says, “Okay, I’m a man of my word, take an animal.” The man picks one up and begins to walk away.”Wait,” cries the shepherd, “let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation.” The man agrees.”You are an accountant for the government,” says the shepherd.”Amazing!” responds the man. “You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?””Well,” says the shepherd, “put down my dog and I will tell you.”

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An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and so he decides to go to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night,” complains the man.”Have you tried counting sheep?” inquired the doctor.The accountant replied, “That’s the problem, Doc. I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it!”

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A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?” Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.” “That’s wonderful. How about you, Amy?” Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.” “Thank you, Amy” said the teacher. “What does your parent do, Billy?” Billy proudly stood up and announced, “Nothing. He’s an economist.”

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