Joke of the Day – The Bakery

A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man comes into the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt (or lack thereof) and the location of the raisin bread – on the very top shelf – he politely says to the young woman, Id like some raisin bread, please.

She climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, providing the young man with an excellent view, just as he surmised she would. When she comes down the ladder, he says he really should get two loaves as he is having company for dinner.

As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he orders a loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread just to watch the young woman climb up and down.

After many trips, she is tired, irritated and thinking she is really going to have to try the raisin bread herself. Once again she is up the ladder retrieving a loaf of raisin bread for another male customer. She stops and fumes, glaring at the men below. She notices an elderly man standing among the crowd of males looking up at her who hasnt placed an order yet.

Thinking to save herself another trip up and down the ladder, she yells at the elderly man, Is yours raisin, too? No, croaked the old man, but its a quiverin….

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Joke of the Day – Sex Ed

Little Johnny was sitting in his first sex ed class one day when the teacher drew a picture of a penis on the board.

Does anyone know what this is? she asked.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, Sure, my daddy has two of them!

Two of them?! the teacher asked.

Yeah. He has a little one that he uses to pee with and a big one that he uses to brush mommys teeth!

……………..

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Joke of the Day – Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty But in Golf Arent

10. Damn, my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes, I can barely walk .
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I cant get a good grip.
2. Nice stroke, but your follow-through leaves a lot to be desired.

And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in golf isnt
1. Hold up! I need to wash my balls first.

……………..

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Joke of the Day – Doctor Checkup

Jose and Carlos are panhandling at the freeway off ramp.

Jose drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Carlos only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day.

Carlos asks Jose how he can bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day.

Jose says, Look at your sign. It reads: I have no work, a wife & 6 kids to support

Carlos looks at Joses sign.

It reads: I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico

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