A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son.

They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, What are these, Dad?. To which the man matter-of-factly replies, Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.

Oh I see., replied the boy, pensively. Yes, Ive heard of that in health class at school. He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and ask, Why are there 3 in this package?

The dad replies, Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday.

Cool! says the boy. He notices a 6-pack and asks Then who are these for?

Those are for college men, the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday and TWO for Sunday.

WOW! exclaimed the boy; Then who uses THESE? he asks, picking up a 12-pack.

With a sigh, the dad replied, Those are for married men, One for January, one for February, one for March….

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Little Jimmy was studying for an American history test when his Grampa came by.

He looked up at his Grampa and said, When you were in school, you had it easy. Back then, American history was considered current events.

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If only life could be like a computer

If you messed up your life, you could press Ctrl, Alt, Delete and start all over!

To get your daily exercise, just click on run! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend.

Hit any key to continue life when ready.

To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.

To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel.

To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.

If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.

When you loose your car keys, click on find.

Help with the chores is just a click away.

Auto insurance wouldnt be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash.

And, we could click on SEND NOW and a Pizza would be on its way to you.

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 Inventing golf ….

Along time ago two Scottsmen are in a pub.

One scottsman says, Im going to invent a game.

The second man asks, What do you have to do?

The first man says, You have to get a ball in a hole.

The second man asks, So its like billiards?

The first man says, No, its going to be much farther away.

The second man asks So, its somthing like bowling?

The first man says, No, its going to be played on grass, and its going to twist and turn.

So the second man asks, So its kind of like croquet?

The first man says, NO, Im going to put in tall grass, and water, and sand, and trees, just to piss you off!

So the second man asks, So you do this once?

The first man replies, NO, you do it EIGHTEEN TIMES!!

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