Joke of the Day – home by midnight

Joke of the Day – home by midnight

The other night I was invited out for a night with the boys. I told my wife that I would be home by midnight ..promise!

Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At around 2:30 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, I realized shed probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick-witted solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.

The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her twelve oclock. She didnt seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why, she said, Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said oh shit, cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted.


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Joke of the Day – Female Comebacks

Joke of the Day – Female Comebacks

Female Comebacks!

Man: Havent I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, thats why I dont go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and Ill go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: Im a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, whats your sign? Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, Id die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, Id probably die laughing.


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