uck walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he has some bread? bar tender says no he asks again do you have some bread? bar tender says no he asks again do you have some bread? bar tender says no, and if you dont shut up i will nail your fucken beak to the bar, duck says do you have some nails bar tender says no duck says GOT SOME BREAD!

One morning, a representative for a condom company was on her way to an international condom convention. While hastily rushing through the airport, the saleswoman dropped her briefcase carrying her samples, scattering condoms across the floor.

She noticed passers by looking at her as she tried to get the condoms back into her briefcase. “It’s okay,” she said. “I’m going to a convention.”

……………..

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telephoned a household, and a four-year-old boy answered. The conversation went thus:
Salesman: May I speak to your mother?
Boy: She’s not here.
Salesman: Well, is anyone else there?
Boy: My sister.
Salesman: O.K., fine. May I speak to her?
Boy: I guess so.
At this point there was a very long silence on the phone. Then:
Boy: Hello?
Salesman: It’s you. I thought you were going to call your sister.
Boy: I did. The trouble is, I can’t get her out of the playpen.

……………..

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A keen country lad applied for a salesman’s job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world – you could get anything there.

The boss asked him, “Have you ever been a salesman before?”

“Yes, I was a salesman in the country” said the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, “You can start tomorrow and I’ll come and see you when we close up.”

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o’clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, “How many sales did you make today?”

“One,” said the young salesman.

“Only one,” blurted the boss, “Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?”

“Three hundred thousand dollars,” said the young man.

“How did you manage that?” asked the flabbergasted boss.

“Well,” said the salesman “this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn’t be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser.”

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, “You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?”

“No,” answered the salesman “He came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife and I said to him, ‘Your weekend’s shot, you may as well go fishing.'”

……………..

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