Joke of the Day: Free Beer For Life
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Joke of the Day: Free Beer For Life

A man walks into a bar and sees a sign that says, “Free Beer For Life If You Can Pass Our Test!”

He asks the bartender, “What’s this ‘test’ you have?” The bartender says, “Well first, you gotta chug a gallon of pepper tequila. Next, you have to go out back and pull the sore tooth out of our angry alligator. And finally, we have a girl up stairs who’s never slept with a man, and you gotta go make things right with her.” Laughing, the man exclaims, “Well that sounds like the stupidest test I’ve ever heard of!” He leaves to get drunk with his friends.

Later that night, the man comes back to the bartender absolutely hammered drunk. “Ok bartender! Let’s do this test!” The bartender hands him a gallon of pepper tequila, and before he could warn him, the man starts chugging it. Teary eyed and near the point of fainting, the man finishes the gallon and slams it on the counter. Stunned, the bartender leads him out back to the alligator. A few minutes pass, and after a bunch of screaming and clatter, the man stumbles back in. His shirt is torn up and his body is bleeding profusely. He stares at the bartender and says, “Ok bartender, where’s the girl with the sore tooth?”

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Joke of the Day: American,  French and Japanese
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Joke of the Day: American, French and Japanese

An American dude, a French dude, and a Japanese dude barely survive a shipwreck. While clinging to floating debris and paddling towards shore they discuss what they will do to survive.

The American dude says: Well, I am a carpenter by trade, so I’ll build us a shelter.

The French dude says: Ho-hoh! Yers trulee eez the greatest chef ever! I shall make grand meals to feed us!

It gets decided that the Japanese dude would be in charge of supplies.

After kicking for hours they finally reach the shoreline, completely exhausted. The Japanese dude gets up and sprints with deer-like speed into the jungle. The American and French dudes look at each other and shrug, then get to work.

By the following evening, the American and French dudes have a reasonable shelter, a reliable firepit, and have enjoyed a few good meals. They decide to go on a search for their friend.

Hours go by as they trek the thick jungle, no sign of their friend anywhere. Just as they are about to give up, the Japanese guy jumps down from a tree, throws his arms up and yells out: SUPPLIES!!!

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Joke of the Day: Construction Job
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Joke of the Day: Construction Job

Dugly was construction worker who was working on the 5th floor of a building. He needed a handsaw. So, he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can’t hear him.

So, Dugly tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning “I”, pointed to his knee meaning “need”, then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. Dugly was so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, “What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!”. The other guy says, “I knew that! I was just trying to tell you – I’m coming!

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Joke of the Day: An Englishman, German, and Irishman
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Joke of the Day: An Englishman, German, and Irishman

An Englishman, a German, and a Irishman are sitting in a bar, each with their favorite drink. Three flies buzzing around the bar choose to land in each of their drinks. The Englishman sees the fly in his wine and exclaims, “I cannot drink this filth! Bring me a fresh brew in a new glass!” The German shrugs, picks the fly out of his beer and starts drinking. The Irishman picks out the fly and begins squeezing it, yelling “SPIT IT OUT YEH WEE BASTARD! SPIT IT OUT!”

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