Joke of the Day: Hero
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Joke of the Day: Hero

A hero comes to a village. The villagers all looks very upset, so the hero ask what happen.

“There is a huge dragon living in the mountain. Every week, it will come down and eat one of our virgin girls” the villager reply.

The hero then promise to help.

Two weeks later, the dragon starved to death.

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Joke of the Day: Joke that is over a thousand years old
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Joke of the Day: Joke that is over a thousand years old

An idiot, a barber, and a bald man go on a journey. At some point in the journey, they decide to set up camp for the night, so they agree to stay awake in four hour shifts to guard their stuff.

The barber, having the first shift, gets bored and so ends up shaving the idiot’s head.

When his shift ends, he wakes up the idiot, who has the second shift. As he’s coming to, the idiot rubs his head and finds he has no hair. “That barber is a right moron!” he exclaims, “He’s got it all wrong and woken the bald man instead of me!”

(this joke from the Philogelos, is over a thousand years old)

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Joke of the Day: Divorced man
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Joke of the Day: Divorced man

A divorced man is walking to town and discovers an old lamp in oddly impeccable shape glistening through the bushes. He decides it’s worth a closer look, walks over and picks it up.

All of a sudden a genie pops out and tells the man in his booming voice “You have three wishes, but be careful; for whatever you wish, your ex gets double.”

The man, taken aback, scratches his head for a moment and tells the genie “Alright, I wish for a 100-million dollar mansion.”

“It is yours as you desire. Your ex will be happy to learn she now owns a 200-million dollar mansion. What is your next wish?”

“Well, I’m going to have to pay the bills on that huge house, so I suppose I’ll wish for a billion dollars. That ought to cover it for a while, at least.”

The genie reaches into his lantern and pulls out a bank statement on which the man’s name is printed, then hands it to him. “You’ll find your finances are in order, to the tune of one billion dollars. Don’t forget, your ex has twice as much. And for your last wish?”

The man rubs his chin for a minute to ponder. “I wish to be beaten half to death.”

“““““

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Joke of the Day: You’re The Father of One of My Kids
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Joke of the Day: You’re The Father of One of My Kids

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.

She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, ‘Do you know me?’ To which she replies, ‘I think you’re the father of one of my kids.’

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, ‘Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???’

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, ‘No, I’m your son’s teacher.’

“““““

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