Three middle-aged women sit on a porch and joke about their husbands and agree to use soda pop to describe each man’s penis.

The first women says “Mountain Dew.” as her husband gets hard like a mountain and just wants to “do do do”

The second women describes her husband’s penis as “7up” because “It’s 7 inches long and it’s always up”

The third women when asked how she would describe her husbands penis, says “it’s like RC cola”

When asked, “Why RC cola?”

She responds with “Because I fucking hate RC cola.”
——-

Best Drink Recipes at CoctailWild.com

I recently asked my friend’s little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, ‘If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?’

She replied, ‘I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.’

Her parents beamed with pride.

‘Wow…what a worthy goal.’ I told her. ‘But you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I’ll pay you $50. Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.’

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, ‘ Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?’

I said, ‘Welcome to the Republican Party.’

Her parents still aren’t speaking to me.

“““““

Republican Dating at RepublicansMeet to meet conservative singles !

A 4-months-pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. 5 months later she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are perfectly fine. Luckily your brother named them for you.

Woman: Oh no not my brother! He’s an idiot. What did he name the my daughter?

Doctor: Denise

Woman: Oh that’s not that bad. What did he name my son?

Doctor: Denephew

“““““

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

There was a fly flying 6 inches above a lake.

A fish in the lake thinks, “If that fly dropped 6 inches I’d get it !”

A bear on land thinks, “If that fly dropped 6 inches, the fish would jump out of the water, and I’d get it !”

A hunter nearby thinks, “If that fly drops 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear will go to get the fish, and I’ll shoot the bear.”

A mouse watching thinks, “If that fly drops 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear would go to get the fish, the hunter will go to get the bear, and I’ll steal the cheese off his sandwich !”

A cat in hiding thinks, “If that fly drops 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear would go to get the fish, the hunter will go to get the bear, the mouse will go get the cheese, and I’ll get that mouse !!!”

Suddenly, it all happened:

The fly dropped 6 inches, the fish got the fly, the bear got the fish, the hunter got the bear, the mouse got the hunter’s cheese, but the cat missed the mouse and fell in the water !!!!!

The Moral Of This Story Is………………

“Every time a fly drops 6 inches, a pussy gets wet”

“““““

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com