Joke of the Day: blonde, a brunette, and a redhead

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead decide to rob a bank. Everything goes well-they have their masks on, the bank hands over the money-awesome.

Exiting the bank, they hear sirens and see several cop cars round the corner, so they dash into a small alleyway.

The cops are quick though, and are just about to reach the entrance. There are three empty potato sacks lying against the wall.

“Quick! Hide!” The brunette says, and the three women each crawl into a bag.

A police man comes down the alleyway, looking around for any signs of the women. The potato sacks stick out to him-so he gives the one with the redhead a kick.

“Meow!” goes the redhead, doing her best imitation of a cat.

“Just an alley cat…” The police officer mumbles, moving onto the next bag and delivering a quick nudge with his foot.

“Woof!” Goes the brunette, imitating a dog.

“Just a stray…” The officer mumbles again, heading to the last bag, and giving it a light kick.

“POOOOE-TAYYY-TOOOEE” grunts the blonde.

“““““

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Joke of the Day: Realistically and potentially

A kid walks up to his dad. He asks him to explain the difference between the words realistically and potentially.

His father responds by telling him to go ask his mother if she would sleep with their neighbor, Dugly, for a million dollars. He then told him to also ask his sister whether she would sleep with their neighbor, Dugly, for a million dollars. And he also told him to ask his brother whether he would sleep with Dugly for a million dollars.

The kid asks everyone. He comes back and tells his dad that they all said yes.

His father responds that potentially, we’re sitting on 3 million dollars. Realistically, we have two whores and a faggot in the family.

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Joke of the Day: Knock at door

A women is at home when she hears someone knock on the door. A woman is at home when she hears someone knock on the door. She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there. He asks the lady “Do you have a vagina?” She slams the door in disgust.

The next morning she hears a knock on the door, it is the same man, and he asks the same question of the woman “Do you have a vagina?” She slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days. The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice “Honey I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again”.

The next morning they hear a knock on the door and both run for the door. The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice “Honey, I’m going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer ‘yes’ to the question because I want to see where he is going with it”. She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.

Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question. “Do you have a vagina?” “Yes” she says. The man replies “Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife’s alone and start using yours!”

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Joke of the Day: Pet parrot

A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home. But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson.

He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, “I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness.” The man says, “Well, thank you. I forgive you.”

The parrot then says, “If you don’t mind my asking, what did the chicken do?”

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