An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery. But prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store some blood in case a need arose.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found locally, so the call went out.

Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW motorcycle, diamonds and a substantial sum of money.

A couple of days later, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery.

His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates.

The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.

He phoned the Arab and asked him: “I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another motorcycle, diamonds & money… but you only gave me a thank-you card & a box of Quality Street chocolates.”

To this the Arab replied: “Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins”.

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There are four people on a small plane heading north over Canada. The pilot, Trump , the pope and a random backpacker. Suddenly the engine starts emitting black smoke and dies.

As the plane slowly starts to fall the pilot rips open a compartment with three parachutes, takes one and shouts something about “needing to fly more planes “ jumping out of the plane deploying his parachute on the way down Trump does he same after giving a short lecture on how America’s best president had priorities -weird hand thing – “far above the normal person “ After he jumps the pope turned to the backpacker and saying a quick prayer told the backpacker that he should take the parachute and jump.

The pope said he was safe in gods hands and had lived a long and successful life. The backpacker waited respectfully for the pope to finish and then said “That’s alright. The worlds greatest president just jumped out of a plane with my backpack! “

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Three dinosaurs stumble across a magic lamp.

They rub it, and a genie appears.

“I have three wishes, so I’ll give one to each of you,” the genie announces.

The first dinosaur thinks hard.

“Alright,” he says, “I’ll have a big, juicy, piece of meat.”

Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he’d ever seen appears in front of him.

Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder.

“I know! I’ll have a shower of meat!”

Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him.

The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.

“I’ve got it!” he cries, “I want a MEATIER shower!”

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A young man goes into the local drugstore to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

“Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s “the” night. We’re having dinner with her parents, and then we’re going out. And I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna get lucky after that. Once she’s had me, she’ll want me all the time, so you’d better give me the 12 pack.”
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parent’s. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.

The girl leans over and says, “You never told me that you were such a religious person.” He leans over to her and whispers, “You never told me that your father is a pharmacist.”

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