A blonde walks into a shop
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A blonde walks into a shop

A blonde woman walks into a shop and wants a pair of alligator boots.

The shopkeeper tells her they do not sell expensive items to blondes.

After becoming very frustrated with the shopkeepers attitude the blonde woman declares. FINE ILL JUST GO CATCH AN ALLIGATOR AND GET MY OWN BOOTS!

The shopkeeper replied why don’t you just try young lady with a smirk.

So the blonde heads out to the swamp absolutely determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day the shopkeeper drives by and noticed the Young lady waist deep in water with a shotgun in her hands.

He stops and watches as a very large alligator swims right at her. With lighting fast reflexes she throws the gun up and shoots the alligator killing it instantly.

He keeps watching as she drags the alligator to a pile of 6 or 7 more. As he rolls down the window to ask why she needs so many Gators for one pair of boots she rolls it over and shouts.

AHHHH THIS ONES BAREFOOT TOOO!

“““““

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A man takes a day off work to go golfing
description

A man takes a day off work to go golfing

a man takes a day off work to go golfing

He’s ready to tee off when he hears a frog, “ribbit, 9 iron”

The man is confused, but the frog speaks again, “ribbit, 9 iron”

To prove the frog wrong, the man pulls out his 9 iron and swings at the ball.

Hole in one.

The man bends down and says “you must be a lucky frog”

The frog replies, “ribbit, lucky frog”

The man takes the frog to the next hole and the frog goes, “ribbit, 3 wood”

The man pulls out a three wood and swings.

Hole in one.

“Wow you really are a lucky frog, what’s next?” the man asks.

“Ribbit, Vegas.”

So the man takes the frog to the casino and walks up to the roulette table and asks the frog, “what’s the bet?”

“Ribbit, $6000, black, 6.”

“That’s an unlikely bet,” the man says. He puts down the bet anyways and he hits.

The man then goes and gets the most expensive penthouse in all of Vegas.

“How can I ever repay you?” the man asks.

“Ribbit, kiss me”

So he kisses the frog and it turns into a 15 year old girl

and THAT your honor, is how she ended up in my room last night

“““““

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Couple at sex therapist’s office
description

Couple at sex therapist’s office

A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist’s office.

The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?”

The man said, “Will you watch us have sex?”

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

When the couple finished, the doctor said, “There’s nothing wrong with the way you have sex,” and charged them $50.

This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.

Finally, the doctor asked, “Just exactly what are you trying to find out?”

“We’re not trying to find out anything,” the husband replied. “She’s married and we can’t go to her house. I’m married and we can’t go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50…and I get $43 back from Medicare.

“““““

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Affair with Neighbor’s Wife
description

Affair with Neighbor’s Wife

A very badly beaten up man came to hospital.

Doctor asked what the hell had happened to him.

Man: I was banging my neighbor’s wife over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open.

She said:” It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!”.

Thinking back, I really should have ran but you don’t get offers like that every day.

“““““

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