Month: July 2022

A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned the task of helping the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, and not the original books.

So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there was an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk says, “We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.”

So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying. He asks what’s wrong.

“You fuckers”, he says, with anger and sadness in his eyes, “the word was celebrate!”

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A kid is selling lemonade. The boy’s sign reads “1 cup for 25¢, 3 cups for $1

A construction worker stops by and asks to buy one cup of lemonade. “25 cents”, says the kid.

The construction worker then buys another one, and another one, paying 25 cents each.

As the construction worker walks away, he turns around with a smile, and says: “Hey kid, you realize I just bought three cups for 75¢… Maybe lemonade stands aren’t your thing.”

“I guess you’re right” says the kid good-naturedly as he sets up the next 3 cups.

“””””

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A man is flying in a hot-air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man below. He lowers the balloon farther and shouts, “Excuse me! Can you tell me where I am?”

The man below says: “Yes, you’re in a hot-air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”
“You must be an engineer,” says the balloonist “I am,” replies the man. “How did you know?”
“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but it’s no use to anyone.”

The man below says, “You must be in management.”
“I am,” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” says the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault”

“””””

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A blonde sees a cow with no horns so she asks the farmer, “Excuse me, but why wouldn’t a cow have any horns?”

The farmer replies, “Well, ma’am, there are several reasons a cow might not have horns. Firstly, some breeds just don’t have horns. Another reason is sometimes we cut them off when a cow gets too rambunctious and too dangerous to handle and be around. Yet another reason is because sometimes when they are calves we put a type of acid where the horns are growing and this stops the horns from forming.”

The blonde then points and asks, “OK, but what about that cow, why doesn’t it have any horns?” The farmer replies, “Well, ma’am, the reason why THAT particular cow has no horns is because it’s a horse.”

“””””

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