A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard.

The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.”

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.

Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, “Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars.” The grandfather replies, “I know. That’s from your Grandma.”

“””””

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A man and his 13 yr old son are in the pharmacy when his son sees the condom display.

“Dad”, the son says, “what are those for?

“Well, those are for when a man and woman love each other and want to have safe intercourse.

“Oh”, the son says, “Why do they have a three-pack?”

“That’s for a college junior: one for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday morning”.

“And why do they have a 6-pack?”

“That’s for college seniors: two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday Morning.”

“And why do they have a 12-pack?”

“Well, that’s for married men…

one for January, one for February…”

“””””

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Mildred was the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals. She kept sticking her nose into other people’s business, even if several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities. However, they feared her enough to maintain their silence.

Once, she accused a new member, Jacob, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town’s only bar one afternoon.

She emphatically told Jacob (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing!

Jacob, was a man of few words. He stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn’t explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing and just went away.

Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his old pickup in front of Mildred’s house …

Got out and simply walked home…

And left his old pickup there all night.

“””””

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A man goes to a priest to confess.

“Forgive me father, for I have sinned” says the man confessed.

“What did you sin, my son?” the priest asks him.

“Well, me and my wife went to my sister-in-law for dinner, we had dinner, then as soon as we were going to go home, the weather, father, it was getting cloudy and it look like it was about to rain, so my sister-in-law asked us to stay for the night” says the man.

“Then what happened?” asks the priest.

“Well, we took her up on her offer then later at night I got the urge to fuck my sister-in-law, so I did” says the man.

“My son, that’s a big sin you have done, ask God for forgiveness and he may forgive you” says the priest.
“Thank you, father, but that’s not all” the man said back.

“What else is there my son” the priest asks him.

“Well after a few weeks, my mother-in-law invited us to dinner, and after dinner, it was getting cloudy and was about to rain again, so my mother-in-law asked us to stay overnight, that night I got the urge to fuck her, and so I did” confesses the man.

The priest looks out outside and sees the sky about to get cloudy. He turns to the man and says “Okay, I think it’s about time for you to get the fuck outta here.”

——-

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