PASSWORD PROBLEMS:

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: potato

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: boiled potato

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled potato

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: 50fuckinboiledpotatoes

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one uppercase character.
USER: 50FUCKINboiledpotatoes

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one uppercase character consecutively.

USER: 50FuckinBoiledPotatoesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER : IWillHuntYouDown50FuckinBoiledPotatoesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.

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A priest and a rabbi are good friends and one night they get talking about Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden.

The conversation leads them to try skinny dipping and under the light of the moon, they find themselves in swimming in a lake with their clothes hung from a tree.

A car pulls up right next to the tree and two couples get out.

One couple are parishoners of the Priest’s, the other of the Rabbi’s.

They can’t go for their clothes, so they both run off naked, the priest using his hands to cover his penis, looks over and sees the rabbi covering his face.

“What are you doing?” he asks. The rabbi responds, “In my congregation, they recognize my face.”

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A soldier and his commanding officer are in a bunker.
The soldier picks up his binoculars and scans the horizon.
Soldier: “Sir! Enemy troops spotted! They look really… little.”
Officer: “Soldier, keep me informed!”

Some time passes.
Officer: “Status report soldier!”
Soldier: “Sir, the enemy troops look a little bigger.”

Some time passes.
Officer: “Status report soldier!”
Soldier: “Sir, the enemy is upon us!”
Officer: “Soldier, launch the attack!”
Soldier: “Sir, I can’t! I’ve known them since they were little…”

——-

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A lawyer was walking down the street when he spotted a woman with spectacular big boobs. He immediately offered her $100 if she would let him bite her huge breasts. “No way!” She exclaimed.

“What about for $1000?” He persisted “No certainly not what kind of woman do you think I am?”

“You wouldn’t even do it for $10,000,” he asked. The woman was astounded. “You’ll pay me $10,000 if I let you bite my boobs?” “That’s correct.”

“Okay let’s go over to that alley.” Once in the alley she took off her blouse and the lawyer felt her breasts, kissed them, and sucked them. She was beginning to get impatient. “Are you gonna bite my tits or what?” she snapped. “No,” he said “too expensive”

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