A grumpy old man walks into a brothel and asks the madam “Is this a union brothel?” “No, sir,” she replies “I’ve owned and operated this bordello for 50 years without a union!” “Well, I’m a union man, so I only visit union brothels!” the man replies as he slams the door on his way out.

Three more cathouses, the same thing. Until he visits the very last bang shack in town; where the madam says “Why yes, we’re the only union pleasure house this side of the Mississippi!”

“That’s great!” he shouted excitedly “I want an hour with your prettiest, most voluptuous girl!”
“I’m sure you do.” she replied “But Agnes has seniority!”

“””””

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A 70 year old man goes into a brothel. He picks out a young pretty woman, they go up to her room, strip down and climb into bed.

The old man performs like a teenager, the prostitute is amazed at how energetic and agile he is, she tells him if he can do it like that again, she’ll give him one for free.

He says “Yeah, I can, but I need to take a 20 minute nap, and while I’m asleep, I need you to hold my old pecker.” She agrees, he wakes up 20 minutes later and goes at it again, just as vigorously as before.

The girl is amazed at the old man’s stamina, and repeats her freebie offer, the old man tells her that once again, he’ll need a 20 minute nap and she’ll have to hold his dick while he’s asleep. She does as he asks, he wakes up 20 minutes later and he goes at it again, with even more enthusiasm than previously.

The hooker catches her breath, and needing to satisfy her curiosity, asks the old man “I can understand why you need the nap, but why do you need me to hold your dick while you’re sleeping?”

The old man replies “Oh, that’s just so you don’t steal my wallet.”

“””””

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Professor Dougly at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on ‘Involuntary Muscle Contraction’ to first-year medical students.

He pointed to a beautiful young woman in the front row and asked, ‘Do you know what your asshole is doing while you’re having an orgasm?’

She replied, ‘Probably golfing with his buddies.’

“””””

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An older man and young woman are both sitting at a bar, separately enjoying their drinks. The man catches the young lass smiling at him, so he moves to the seat next to her snd offers to buy her a drink. She accepts.

They continue to converse for quite a while. The conversation flowing effortlessly. Eventually, the woman tells the man that her place is close by, and she has a bottle of wine they can share and keep the conversation going.

Once at her place, the sparks begin to fly. She never thought she’d be so attracted to an older man. But he’s handsome, funny, and just seems like a good guy. And the gentleman can’t believe such a beautiful young woman is showing such interest in him. His confidence is through the roof.
Things take another turn as the pair take the party to her bedroom. After the intimate deed is done, they are laying in bed.

The man props himself up on his elbow and says, “I must apologize. If I knew you were a virgin, I would have taken things slower. A nice dinner. A show. Just a nice time out on the town”.
The woman props herself up on her elbow. “I need to apologize too. If I knew you could still get it up, I would’ve taken my underwear off!”

“””””

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