An elderly couple were invited to their friend Bill’s house for the evening.

Bill’s wife served dinner, and after eating, the men’s wives went through to the kitchen to clean up.

As the men were chatting, one says to the other: “I brought my wife to a great restaurant last night, I really recommend it”

“What was it called?” replied the other

The first man thought for a while, “What’s the word for that flower, you know the one with thorns on, usually red I think…?”

“A rose you mean?”

“Ah yes, that’s it.” He turned round and called into the kitchen, where his wife was washing dishes, “Rose, what was the name of the restaurant we went to yesterday?”

“““““

Silver Dating is for older single men and women to meet. Visit SilverDating.com today!

Two Irish men Conor and Liam are walking to Dublin. They are two Irish farm hands going to Dublin on their day off.

Conor falls and twists his ankle and says ‘Aye, Liam. I can’t go much farther. I’ll just nip into this bar off the road and you can get me on yer way back.’

Liam says, ‘alright, Conor.’

Conor hobbles into a pub on the corner and sits down to a pint. About 15 minutes later, Liam comes back in a fancy BMW. Conor exclaims, ‘Aye, Liam, where’d ya get the car? You didn’t nip it away, did ye?’ Liam hops out and says, ‘no, Conor. The strangest thing happened on me way to Dublin. I was walking along when a wee Bonnie lass rolls up to me in her car. She says to me, ‘oh, Irish farm boy, do you need a ride?’ I thinks to meself, ‘alright.’ But this lass starts driving off crazy. Right into the middle of this farmers field. Then, she gets out and starts taking all her clothes off. Till she was naked as the day she was born. And she says to me, low and sweet, ‘oh, Irish farm boy, you can have anything you want.’

‘So I took the car.’

Conor says, ‘Aye, Liam, ya made the right choice. Those clothes would’ve done nothing for ya.’

——-

.site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

God went to the Arabs and said, ‘I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.’ The Arabs asked, ‘What are Commandments?’ And the Lord said, ‘They are rules for living.’ ‘Can you give us an example?’ ‘Thou shalt not kill.’ ‘Not kill? We’re not interested..’

Then He went to the Mexicans and said, ‘I have Commandments.’ The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said ‘Thou shalt not steal.’ ‘Not steal? We’re not interested.’

Then He went to the French and said, ‘I have Commandments.’ The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery.’ ‘Sacre bleu!!! Not commit adultery? We’re not interested.’

Finally, He went to the Jews and said, ‘I have Commandments..’ ‘Commandments?’ They said, ‘How much are they?’ ‘They’re free.’ ‘We’ll take 10.’

There. That should upset just about everybody…. 🙂
——-

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

Kung Fu student asks his teacher: “Master, why does my ability not improve? I’m always defeated.

And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers: “My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seeming like flames?” “Yes, my master, I have.” “And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?” “Yes, my master, I have witnessed it.” “And the moon… when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?”

“Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon.” “That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training.”

——-

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com