A new CEO takes over at a struggling company and decides to get rid of all the slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. He can’t believe this guy would just stand around on the job. The new CEO walks up to the guy leaning against the wall and asks, “What are you doing here?” “I’m just waiting to get paid,” responds the man.

Furious, the CEO asks “How much money do you make a week?” A little surprised, the young fellow replies, “I make about $300 a week. Why?” The CEO quickly gets out his checkbook, hands the guy a check made out to cash for $1,200 and says, “Here’s four weeks’ pay, now get out and don’t come back.” The man puts the check in his pocket and promptly walks out.

Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looks around the room and asks, “Does anyone want to tell me what just happened here?” From across the room comes a voice, “Yeah, you just tipped the pizza delivery guy $1,200.”

——-

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There is this African-American kid that goes to school and notices that the teachers treat the white kids better than the kids of color.

So he goes home and paints himself white and shows his dad. “Hey dad look i’m white!”

His dad kicks his ass, and says “Alright go show your mother.”

The kid goes “Hey mom look i’m white!”

His mom beats the shit out of him then tells him to go show his grandma.

The kid again goes “Hey grandma look i’m white”, she beats his ass and sends him to his room.

About an hour later all the family comes to his room and says “Have you learned anything from this?”

The kid says “Yeah I’ve learned that I’ve only been white for an hour and I already hate 3 black people.”

“““““

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Two Tennessee Rednecks, Bubba and Dugly, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Bubba turns to Dugly and says, “You know, I’m tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I’ll go to the Community College, and sign up for some classes.” Dugly thinks it’s a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day, Bubba goes down to the college and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. “Logic?” Bubba says. “What’s that?”

The dean says, “I’ll show you. Do you own a weedeater?”

“Yeah.”

“Then logically speaking, because you own a weedeater, I think that you would have a yard.”

“That’s true, I do have a yard.”

“I’m not done,” the dean says. “Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house.”

“Yes, I do have a house.”

“And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.”

“I have a family.”

“I’m not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife.”

“Yes, I do have a wife.”

“And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual.”

“I am a heterosexual. That’s amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weedeater!”

Excited to take the class now, Bubba shakes the Dean’s hand and leaves to go meet Dugly at the bar. He tells Dugly about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. “Logic?” Dugly says, “What’s that?”

Bubba says, “I’ll show you. Do you have a weedeater?”

“No.”

“Then you’re fucking gay.”

——-

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A King enrolled his donkey in a race & won

Local papers read:

“King’s ass won”

The king was so upset with this kind of publicity. So he gave the donkey to the queen.

The local papers then read:

“Queen has the best ass in town”

The king & queen were both upset..

Queen then sold the donkey to a farmer for 100$. Next day papers read:

“Queen sold her ass for 100$”

The queen didn’t know what to do..

The next day king ordered the queen to buy back the donkey and leave it in jungle.

The paper’s finally read:

“Queen announces her ass is free & wild”

——-

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