A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: “Excuse me Father, could I ask a favor?”

“Of course my child, What can I do for you?”

“Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?”

“Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I cannot lie.”

“You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions”, and she gave him the “hair remover”.

The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”

“From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son, he replied.

Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, “And from the sash down, what do you have?”

The priest replied, “I have there a marvelous little instrument destined for use by women, but which has never been used.”

Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, “Go ahead Father. Next!”

——-

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

A grammar teacher was lecturing his students on double negatives. He explains, “In some languages, take English, for example, if you were to use double negatives, it is the equivalent of a positive. It isn’t considered proper grammar for that reason.”

A student raises his hand. “Like in Algebra?”

“Exactly. However, in other languages, like Russian, a double negative is still a negative. For those of you who are curious, there is no language where a double positive equals a negative.”

A student piped up in the back. “Yeah, right.”

——-

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

Yo mama so old, her birth-certificate expired.

Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.

Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!

Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo mama so old, she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.

Yo mama so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.

yo momma so that archaeologists found ancient pottery in her vagina.

Yo mamma so old, her memory is in black and white .

Yo mamma so old, she co-wrote the Ten Commandments.

. . . . . . . .

Expired Domain Picks for domainers to buy at GoDaddy Auctions.

So a elementary teacher is giving candy to all her students. While doing this she is having them all guess what flavor each candy is.

After giving the first piece to the whole class she asks the class what flavor it was. They all said grape.

The next flavor of candy was guessed to be orange and the flavor after that cherry.

She gives out a final piece of candy to all the students. but no one can guess what flavor it is. The flavor being Honey she gives the class a hint “It’s what your mommy sometimes calls your daddy”

After thinking for a bit the boy in the back screams “Spit it out, it’s asshole”

. . . . . . . .

Get Old Time Candy Coupons for discounts pet tips at PriorityCodes.com