A man stopped by to see his friend who recently broke both his legs. After about an hour of conversation, Mike asks, “Bill, would you mind running up stairs and grab my slippers for me? Stairs are a little difficult.” “Yea man. No problem.” As Bill is walking down the hallway upstairs he peeked through a door and sees Mike’s gorgeous twin 18 yo daughters. He opens the door and says, “Your dad sent me up to have sex with you two.” With the look if disbelief on their faces, he says, “Look, ill prove it to you”. He yells downstairs and says, “Hey Mike. Both of them?” Mike “Hell yea, both of them. What good is just one?!”

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3 Scots and 3 Irishmen are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Irishmen each buy tickets and watch as the three Scots buy only a single ticket. “How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks an Irishman. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers a Scot.

They all board the train. The Irishmen take their respective seats but all three Scots cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says,”Ticket, please.” The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Irishmen see this and agree it was quite a clever idea.

So after the conference, the Irishmen decide to copy the Scots on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money,and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Scots don’t buy a ticket at all. “How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one perplexed Irishman. Watch and you’ll see,” answers a Scot. When they board the train the three Irishmen cram into a bathroom and the three Scots cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one of the Scots leaves his bathroom and walks over to the bathroom where the Irishmen are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please.”

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A native american hitchhiker was picked up by a slick city man who was driving past the reservation.

As they were driving along, the indian noticed a brown paper bag on the dashboard and inquired as to its contents. The city man replied: “It’s a bottle of wine, I got it for my wife”.

The Indian looked forward at the road, nodded his head solemnly, and said: “Good trade”.

Bill, 80, married Carrie, a lovely 24 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Carrie decides that after their wedding she and Bill should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Carrie prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door.

Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Bill, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one.

All goes well, Bill takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Carrie hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it’s Bill,

Again he is ready for more ‘action’. Somewhat surprised, Carrie consents for more coupling.

When the newlyweds are done, Bill kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it – Bill is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more ‘action’.

And, once more they enjoy each other.

But as Bill gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, ‘I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Bill.’

Bill, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Carrie and says: ‘You mean I was here already?’

“““““

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