Joke of the Day
A man walks into a bar and glances at the menu.
Sandwiches, $2
Hand jobs, $5
He calls over to the waitress, a gorgeous young blonde woman who appeared to be in her mid-twenties.
“Hey, hi there. Are you the one doing the hand jobs?”
She smiles thinly, “Yes sir, I am.”
“Well, wash your hands and put on some gloves. I’d like a sandwich.”
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A professor travels to Africa to live with a primitive tribe and spends years with them, teaching them all about the wonders of science and mathematics, One day, the Chief’s wife gives birth to… a white child!
The word spreads, and the entire tribe is in shock. The chief pulls the professor aside and says, “Look, you’re the only white man we’ve ever seen around here, and this woman just gave birth to a white child. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened!”
The professor replied, “No, Chief. You’re mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion.”
The chief was silent for a moment, then said, “Tell you what. You don’t say anything more about that sheep and I won’t say anything more about that white child.”
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A pregnant woman got shot 3 times and recovered, but the bullets were never found. Later she had triplets, two girls and one boy.
Many years later, the first girl came up to her mom and told about how she peed out a bullet.
The next day the second came up and the mother said, “Lemme guess, you peed out a bullet too.” She was right.
The next day her young boy came up to his mom and says, “Mom, I’m so ashamed of what just happened” The mother replied, “Aw, honey, it’s alright, your sisters peed out a bullet too, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“No, that’s not it” he said. “I was jerkin’ off, and I think I shot the dog”
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A Blonde, Brunette and red head are having lunch, chatting about their daughters…..
The Redhead says “I can’t believe it, I was looking through my daughters purse and I found a little bottle of alcohol, I didn’t know my daughter drank”.
The Brunette says, “OMG, you too? I was just looking through MY daughters purse and found a pack of cigarettes, I didn’t know my daughter smoked!”
The Blonde then jumps in….”I can’t believe it, I was going through MY daughters purse and found a pack of condoms, I didn’t know my daughter had a penis!”
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