A man walks into a bank.

(Man to teller) “I want to open a fucking saving account.”

The Astonished woman replies “I beg your pardon, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank”. The woman leaves the window and goes to bank manager to inform him of this situation.

The manager agrees that the woman does not have to listen to this kind of language.

They both return to the window and the manager asks the man, “Sir, what what seems to be problem here?”

“There is no fucking problem”, the man says “I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to put my fucking money in this damn bank.”

“Oh… I see” says the bank manager. “And is this bitch giving you a hard time, sir?”

“““““

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.

So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes. When he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.

“Pardon me, sir, I’m Rebecca Smith from CNN. What’s your name?

“Morris Feinberg,” he replied.

“Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?”

“For about 60 years.”

“60 years! That’s amazing! What do you pray for?”

“I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims.” “I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop.” “I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to love their fellow man.” “I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests.”

“How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?”

“Like I’m talking to a fucking wall.”

“““““

Jewish Dating at MatchJewish.com to meet single Jewish women and men looking for love.

A factory owner is trying to come up with innovative ideas to save money and therefor save his business from going under.

The owner calls a meeting with all of his 200 employees out on the plant floor. “Ok everyone, we are in deep trouble. I will give $2000 dollars to the first person that comes to me with a cost saving idea.”

Immediately a guy in the front row shoots up his hand. Owner says “Yes, Dugly. That was fast, what’s your cost saving plan?”

Dugly says “make it $1000”.

——-

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

So there’s this Irish Pub in Ireland of all places. Anyhow, its getting towards the end of the night and the bartender rings the bell calling, “Last drinks! Last drinks! And anyone who can come up with the best cheers gets their last drink for free!”

After hearing this everyone in the pub runs up to the bar and starts shouting at the bartender their best cheers. The bartenders hears a few of them over the noise and dismisses them with a wave of the hand, “No, none of those will do!”

When its gets quiet one man raises his beer, “I have one! I say cheers to spending the rest of my life between the legs of my wife!”

Everyone raises their beer in approval and this man gets his free beer.

Later that night this man walks home and gets into bed with his wife. His wife wakes and turns to her husband, “You’re home late.”

“Yeah, well I won the cheers!”

“Ah, what’d you say?”

“What’d I say..” The man thinks for a moment, he doesn’t want to get in trouble with his wife, “I said cheers to spending the rest of my life.. at church next to my wife!”

“Aww, such a lovely thing to say” exclaims the wife and she goes back to sleep.

The very next day the wife is waiting in line at the local bakery. A man who heard the cheers at the pub walks up to the wife and says, “You know your husband devoted the cheers to you last night.”

To which the wife replies, “Yeah I don’t understand it, I mean he hasn’t been down there in years and I have to pull his ear to come!”

“““““

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com