Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch.

First Bull: “I’ve been here five years. I’m not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows.”

Second Bull: “I’ve been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I’m keeping all my cows.”

Third Bull: “I’ve only been here a year, and so far, you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I’m keeping all 10 of my cows.”

Just then an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest bull they’ve ever seen. At 4,700 pounds, each step he takes strains the steel ramp.

First Bull: “I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend.”

Second Bull: “I actually have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few. I’m certainly not looking for an argument.”

They look over at the third bull and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting.

First Bull: “Son, don’t be foolish — let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it.”

Third Bull: “Hell, he can have all my cows. I’m just making sure he knows I’m a bull.”

^^^^^^

.us Domains names for only $3.58, .com only $8.50 at LocoDomains.com

Painter: How are my paintings selling?

Gallery Owner: Well, there is some good news and some bad news. A man came in the other day and asked me if you were a painter whose work would become more valuable after your death. When I told him I thought you were, he bought everything you had in the gallery.

Painter: Wow! That’s terrific! What’s the bad news?

Gallery Owner: He was your surgeon

“““““

Buy Cellulite Reduction

A train hits a bus filled with girls going to their Catholic High School and they all perish. They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, ” Wendy, have you ever had any contact with a male organ? She giggles and shyly replies, “Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger.” St. Peter says, ” Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate.”

St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, “Stacy, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?” The girl is a little reluctant but replies, “Well, once I fondled and stroked one.” St. Peter says, ” Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate.”

All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls. One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front, St.Peter says, “Tina, What seems to be the rush?” The girl replies, “If I’m going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Melissa sticks her ass in it.

“““““

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

Some years ago, in a small coastal Irish community Paddy married a woman, Maggie, half his age.

All was well at first until Maggie took delivery of a ‘woman’s magazine and began to read things about sex. It soon became clear that she had never climaxed during sex and, according to her Grandmother, all Irish women are entitled to a climax once in a while.

To resolve the problem, Paddy and Maggie went to see the Veterinarian since there was no doctor within thirty miles who could be relied upon not to gossip. However, the Vet didn’t have a clue about people. But he did recall during hot summers, his mother and father would fan a cow that was having difficulty breeding with a big towel. Apparently, this cooled her down and helped her to relax. So he recommended they hire a strong, young man to wave a big towel over them while they were having sex. This, the Vet said, should cause the young wife to cool down, relax and possibly achieve the sought after climax.

So the couple hired a strong young man from Dublin to wave a huge bath towel over them as the Vet suggested. After many efforts, Maggie still had not climaxed so they went back to the Vet who suggested she change partners and let the young man have a go while Paddy waved the big towel.

They tried it that night and Maggie went into wild, screaming, ear-splitting climaxes, one right after the other for about two and a half hours.

When it was over, Paddy looked down at the exhausted young man and said loudly: “And dat, me auld son, is how ya wave a feckin’ towel!”

——-

.site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com