Joke of the Day: Feel like a woman

On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.

One woman in particular loses it. Screaming,she stands up in the front of the plane. “I’m too young to die!” she wails. Then she yells, “Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I’ve had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??”

For a moment there is silence. everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. “I can make you feel like a woman,” he says. This tall, tanned and built guy with jet black eyes starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time.

No one moves. As this man approaches, the woman begins to get excited. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: “Iron this.”

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Joke of the Day: Prayers

A father goes upstairs to tuck his son into bed. As he reaches his son’s door, he hears his son praying “Dear God please look after mum, dad, grandma and byebye grandad. The father thought the prayer was a little strange but nothing more. The next morning the family gets a phonecall that grandad had dies of a heartattack. The father remember his sons pray and was a little worried but he shrugged it off. A couple of weeks and the father goes to tuck his son in, sure enough he hears his son praying ” Please God look after mum, dad and byebye grandma. The next morning the family gets a phonecall that grandma had of a stroke. The father is worried about this but still shrugs it off. A couple more weeks pass and the father goes to tuck his son in. He hears his son praying “Dear God please look after mum, byebye daddy. Now the father freaks out about his, he doesnt sleep at all that night and when he goes to work he cant do anything becaise of his worrying. Whem he gets home he says to his wife “you wouldnt know how much of a i’ve had a terrible day i had today”. Too which his wife replies “you think you had a bad day? I found the freakin mailman dead on our doorstep!!”

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Joke of the Day: Hooking up at bar

A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar.

After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.

After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, See that, baby? Thats 1000 pounds of dynamite! She begins to drool.

The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilders pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, See those, baby? Thats 1000 pounds of dynamite! She is aching for action at this point.

Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.

He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, Why are you in such a hurry to go?

She replies, With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!

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Joke of the Day: First day of school

Two small boys meet on the first day of school

“My name is Mikey. What’s yours?” asked the first boy.

“Ricky,” replied the second.

“My Daddy’s a truck driver, What does your Daddy do for a living?” asked Mikey.

Ricky replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer.”

“Honest?” asked Mikey.

“No, just the regular kind”, replied Ricky.

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