A man & his wife are in bed one night. The wife wants a bit of action from her husband, but he doesn’t even acknowledge that she’s there, he just continues reading a book. She keeps waiting & waiting for him to make his first move, but he doesn’t, so she gets disqusted & goes to sleep. 10 minutes later, she feels his fingers in her vagina, and says, “oh fred you finally want me?” He replies, “nah, I’m just wetting my fingers to turn the page”

——-

.site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

An Irishman, a Scottishman and an Englishman are all going to be executed by a firing squad. The Englishman is taken out and told to face the wall so he does but just as they’re going to shoot him, he shouts “Earthquake!” and the firing squad runs away. Then they bring out the Scottishman and he faces the wall but just as they are going to shoot he shouts “Tidal Wave!” and the firing squad again runs away. The Irishman is brought out and they tell him to face the wall and just as the firing squad is about to shoot, the Irishman shouts, “Fire!”

“““““

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

A young woman asked her mom one day, “how do I keep guys off me?” and her mom replied “ask him what the baby’s name will be”. So the next day she goes to a party and asks guys who are hitting on her, “what will the baby’s name be?” This gets rid of them in a hurry. Then one guy dances with her and she asks, “what will the baby’s name be?” So he takes her upstairs and when they’re done she asks again, “what will the baby’s name be?” He then removes his condom, ties it at the top and says, “if the baby gets out of this, call him Houdini”

“““““

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

A man and his mother-in-law went to Jerusalem and while they were there the mother-in-law passes away. The priest says to the man, “for $150 we can bury your mother-in-law here or for $5000 we can ship her back home to be buried. The man replies, “oh I will definitely have her shipped back home because if I remember correctly awhile back a man was buried here and after 3 days he came back to life”.

“““““

Get HP.com Coupons at JuicyCoupons.com to save money online !