A man stumbles up to the only other patron in the bar and asks if he could by him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply.

The first man then asks, “Where are you from?”. “I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man. The first man responds, “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s have another round to Ireland.”

“Of course,” replies the second man, and they both pour back their drinks. Curious, the first man asks, “Where in Ireland asre you from?”

“Dublin,” comes the reply.

“I can’t believe it says the first man.

“I’m from Dublin too Let’s have another drink to Dublin!” the men both continue drinking.

Curiosity strikes again and the first man asks, “What school did you go to?”

“St. Mary’s,” replied the second man. “i graduated in ’62.”

“This is unbelivable, “the first man says. “I went to St. Mary’s and i grduated in ’62, too!”

About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.

“What’s been going on?” he asks the bartender.

“Nothing much” replies the bartender. “the O’Mally twins are drunk again.”

……………..

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A drunken man staggers into a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing.

The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally, the drunk replies: “No use knockin’ mate, there’s no paper in this one either.”

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An Australian guy decides to travel around the Greek Islands. He walks into a bar and Jill (the Australian barmaid) takes his order, Fosters,and notices his accent.

Over the course of the night they get to know each other quite well. At the end of Jill’s shift he asks her if she wants to come back to his place and have sex with him.

Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her $200 for sex. Jill is travelling the world and because she is short on funds she agrees.

The next night the guy turns up again, orders Fosters and after showing her plenty of attention throughout the night he asks if she will sleep with him again for $200.

Jill remembers the night before and is only too happy to agree. This goes on for 5 nights.

On the 6th night the guy comes in, orders Fosters and sits in the corner. Jill thinks that may be she should pay him more attention and maybe she can shake some more cash out of him again. So she goes over and sits next to him.

She asks him where he’s from in Australia and he tells her Melbourne. “So am I… What suburb in Melbourne?” “Glen Iris,” he replies.

“That’s amazing…” she says, “…so am I – what Street?” “Cameo Street,” he replies. This is unbelievable…” she says,”…what number?”

He says, “Number 20” and she is totally astonished. “You are not going to believe this but I’m from number 22 and my parents still live there!”

“I know…” he says, “…your Father gave me $1,000 to give to you!”

……………..

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Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill.

Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.

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