Jose and Rosa are running a cantina in Mexico. One day Jose having a siesta and Rosa is looking after the bar.

One of the patrons is getting very drunk on tequila and he says “Hey Rosa, I want to kiss you all over your body.”

Rosa says “Pees off you peeg.”

So he carries on drinking and a while later he says “Hey Rosa, I want to feel your titties.”
Rosa says “Pees off you peeg.

So he carries on drinking and a while later he says “Hey Rosa, I want to fill your pussy with ice cream and lick it all out.

So Rosa storms up the stairs and wakes Jose. She says “Jose, Jose there is a man in the cantina. He says he wants to kiss me all over my body.”

Jose jumps off the bed and grabs his machete. He says “Where is he? I will cut him in half.”
Rosa says “That’s not all, he says he wants to feel my titties.”

Jose says “Where is he, I will cut in half twice.”

Rosa says “That’s not all, he says he wants to fill my pussy with ice cream and eat it all out.”
Jose looks disappointed, he puts the machete down and lies down on the bed again.

Rosa says “Are you not going to cut him in half Jose.”

Jose says “No, any man that can eat that much ice cream is too big for me to fight with.”

“””””

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A cowboy is captured by indians. The chief tells the cowboy they’ll grant 3 requests before they scalp him/

The cowboy thinks a minute then says, ” I wish to say goodbye to my horse then to set him free.”

So they bring him his horse, he whispers in its ear then sets him off into the sunset. He tells the chief he needs to mull over the third request and the chief agrees to wait until sunset.

As the sun dips in the sky, here comes the horse back, with a beautiful brunette in the saddle.

“Is this your last request?” the chief asks.

“Uh, no,” says the cowboy.

“My last request is to say goodbye to my horse once more.”

“Ok…” says the chief. The cowboy leans into his horses ear and hisses,

“You idiot! I said ‘Posse! Posse!”

“””””

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A farmer is worried that his sex life with his wife is getting a bit dry. They go to see a therapist, who asks them what they think the problem is. The wife says, “I just don’t have time for it, I’m too busy cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry and everything else. Sex is starting to lose its appeal”.

The farmer is disheartened to hear this, but listens to the therapist, who tells him, “You need to change things up a bit. You’ll just have to do something sexy to attract her.”

The next morning, the wife is in the house, ironing some clothes, when she hears strange sounds from outside. She runs out of the kitchen and into the front yard, and sees her husband completely naked thrusting his dick in and out of tractor’s exhaust pipe. “What on Earth are you doing?” she shouts.
The farmer looks up at her. “Well the therapist said to do something sexy to a tractor.”

“””””

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A mother puts her two sons to bed, before they fall asleep.

The older brother tells his little brother, “I think it’s time we started cussing.”

The younger brother asks, “Well what are you going to say?”

The older brother responds, “I’ll say, Hell.”

The younger brother says, “Okay, I’ll say ass.”

The next morning the mother asks her oldest son, “What do you want for breakfast?”

He proudly tells his mother, “Oh, Hell I’ll have some Corn Flakes.”

So, she slaps him, then asks her younger son, “What do you want?”

He adamantly responds, You bet your ass it’s not Corn Flakes!”

“””””

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